Showing posts from September, 2015

AHA Moment of the day

Should’ve realized this a long time ago. The moment I am done with sex is the moment I’ll consider having another go at a relationship. Desire has always been the driving force in all my romantic engagements. And I am talking about desire here in broad terms --- sexual desire, desire to conquer, desire to belong, and desire to be desired as well. Shockingly I didn’t see myself as a loose cannon but I really was. I guess what I am saying is the last couple of decades weren’t the right time for me to be in a relationship. If I really did want to be in one, I should’ve taken sex and desire out of the equation and sat down instead with someone that I enjoy having coffee with mornings after mornings. But then I also think I am done with looking at relationships in a very heteronormative way. Wait, am I using the term correctly? ODK, this merits the hashtag: #sexytanders. Charot.

Like cattles in a farm

Overwhelmed by the sheer number of commuters the guards at the MRT resort to the most primitive of solution, herding. We were herded like sheep and cattle through a line that snaked across the station. Still we ended up inside an overcrowded cabin, hot as an oven, with our faces scrunched up to the wall and with our breath fogging up the filthy windows. Maybe we should ask the mathematicians at NASA instead to provide us a solution. Perhaps the answer could be found by estimating the maximum number of commuters and relating it to the frequency of arrival and departure of the train. Sometimes the train lingers too long at the North Station like a jeepney waiting for its seats to be filled. From the get-go, the train is already crowded, making the passengers at the other stations beg for a little bit of space. But then, what do I know. I live in a country where everybody has an answer but no one can seem to solve the problem. 

Where do broken hearts go?

Alam mo ‘yung gabing-gabi na bigla na lang tatawag sa’yo ‘yung kaibigan mo, umiiyak dahil nag-away sila ng boyfriend niya o kaya nag-hiwalay o kaya naman may nalaman siyang hindi maganda o kung ano man. Pipikapin mo siya somewhere in the city at pagbungad niya kaagad sa’yo mura o iyak o kung ano mang witty o masasakit na salita na naisip niya habang naghihintay na pikapin mo siya. Pupunta kayo sa bar, mag-iinuman ng walang katapusan tapos ang pulutan ninyo ang boyfriend niya. O kaya ang putang-inang relasyon nila.
Sa first hour masaya, exciting pa ang kuwento. May mura. May iyak. May blow by blow account kung bakit siya naririto ngayon umiinom kasama ka. By the second hour, wala pa rin siyang tigil na parang tren. Magko-quote ka ngayon ng mga kung sino-sino from William Burroughs to, sige na nga, F. Scott Fitzgerald (na matindi rin ang sinapit kay Zelda) para lang magkaroon ng gravitas ang usapan. By the fourth hour, nagiging philosophical ka na. Do we really need love at all? Wasn’t …

Dear Kuya Freud, let's talk about sex dreams puwede?

Sometimes celebrities show up in my dream. Piolo had made an appearance twice. I once dreamed of Diether Ocampo and Alma Moreno (and her cavernous vagina). Last night it was Enrique Gil. We were having sex and we were sort of in love (ang ganda ng panaginip, right? Who says walang forever?). It was quick and rough but my mother kept knocking on the door, which pissed me off. Then Enrique took out some meth and it was at that point that I knew the relationship was over. Suddenly I was crashing and when I looked at the far side of the bed my dead dog Chichi was there, luminous in this preternatural blue glow, looking sad and disappointed. And then I woke up. End dream sequence.

Magazine ka ba? Ang dami mong issues eh!

I was supposed to meet someone in Cubao early this morning. For work, okay, just to be clear. I did all my chores early: walked the dogs, fed the dogs, cleaned up after the dogs, etc. I sent a text message before I got into the shower but when it was time to go and I haven’t received a reply I went ahead anyway. It was raining. It’s Monday. The traffic was extra terrible. I took a cab even if I am already super broke. When I got to the meeting place, the guy was nowhere to be found. I sent text messages and called him countless of times but his phone, apparently, was turned off. Panay out of coverage area. Puta. Let me reiterate. It’s morning. On a Monday. It’s raining. And the people around me are beginning to look like shooting targets. I was this close to going ballistic. I wanted to hit someone with my umbrella. Possibly in the hopes of murdering him. Apparently, I was going to be stood up again. Yes, again.
Over the weekend, I was supposed to meet a guy for fun. I have to note t…


Pipila ka sa MRT. Pipila ka sa FX. Pipila sa canteen. Pipila ka sa Bayantel. Pipila sa bangko. I always feel like I’m perpetually auditioning for something. I am always waiting for my turn to --- what? --- shine? And all this waiting is making me wonder, ano ba talaga ang pinipilahaan ko? In the grand scheme of things, what I am waiting for? For my life to start? Eh it has begun to end na nga eh!

Si Nietzche, ang mga seremonya and That Dragon, Cancer game

Here’s a real mad man I-think-I’m-going-crazy idea. I think in the future a software will be developed for us to be able to empathize with each other more intensely (or maybe meron na nito). Parang Strange Days ni Bigelow but not as sinister. Take for example this “That Dragon, Cancer” game. I’m still not sure how it works but it tells the story of a father taking care of his little son who is battling cancer. Sa concept palang alam mo nang empathic ang mararamdaman ng manlalaro as opposed to the games where you mindlessly shoot down people or zombies. And I’m wondering how one can turn this concept into a TV show. The closest is the one I saw posted by Buzzfeed, the one where a newly married couple were made to look older. Ang ganda ng concept kasi they were given an idea that’s beyond their current reality. Naging eye-opener ‘yung experiment. Sana lang may show na ang benta ay “The Human Experience.” That lets us see beyond of what we know now. Hindi ‘yung Tyra Banks social exper…