It’s simply the case of having too many lighters and not having enough cigarettes or is it the other way around? Lately I dreamed about travel, sex and something else. My mother’s going somewhere tomorrow and I will be left alone for a week. Not a good sign. Then there is the deadline that I am trying to beat and I think I am not going to make it. But still I try to march on because what else is there to do but to march forward, right? Now I have decisions to make. I feel like I’m walking on a tightrope. It’s quite difficult to create the life that you want, no? To create a life that I want and not the life that is simply given. Tug and pull. There’s always a tug and pull these days. Makes for a better character I think but really hellish to live through.