Like kids in the schoolyard on a sunny Friday afternoon


I got to the office relatively early. And while I was editing this article that I finished writing yesterday I suddenly felt a wave of happiness. I felt this curious feeling of levity that was almost close to unadulterated glee. On my screen, I saw Jed had replied to last night’s message where I suggested that he cast the guys that I have a crush on in her newest short film. One of them was Oliver Aquino. I thought he was extremely attractive and quite talented in Kasal. My other friend thinks he looks like a druggie so I thought, hm, maybe we’re bagay? Jed said she had worked with him and this led me to checking out his Facebook page. For a split second, I thought of sending a friend request. After all, we have several common friends and, hey, he once acted in a script I wrote. Then I went to the john and started imagining us on a date, Oliver and I. Maybe we could go to Blacksoup, have wine, talk movies and shit and generally have a good time? When I went back to my desk, I was so happy with the thought that I could barely contain my smile. I remember thinking: What the fuck is happening with me? What’s all this? Hypomania? I realized though that I was able to have a full workout that morning and usually morning workouts make me high as a kite. Only I was anxious right after my jog because I had to go to another office to fix something. So, I thought, maybe it was just delayed gratification. My brain just unleashed a boatload of dopamine like kids rushing out of the schoolyard on a sunny Friday afternoon. It was all chemicals, baby. It wasn’t really like God peered out of the clouds and blessed me with a smile. It was all just chemicals. Same old, same old shit.


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