Showing posts from May, 2013

'If You Think This Has A Happy Ending, You Haven't Been Paying Attention'

I have had my fair share of good news last week. No, good things have been happening to me in the last couple of months. But something inside me just wants to be miserable. Right now I am waiting for something, something to happen, something to come up. In my head, I want to hear something good. Something that will tell me things are okay and my future is okay and I’m not going to rot and I don’t need to be miserable again.

monday blues

I get goose bumps when I’m too sad. I couldn’t sleep earlier today. I was so tired last weekend because of work and gym and so I fell asleep while waiting for Gretchen’s pasabog on The Buzz yesterday. I woke up at around nine in the evening and I wasn’t able to go back to sleep till seven in the morning. By that time my mind has festered into a repository of hatred and frustration. I kept thinking about this old guy who keeps bullying me at work for no apparent reason. I mean we’re not even in the same show and he’s not even a writer. I was also reminded of this friend who tries to embarrass me at every opportunity. Maybe he thinks that it’s okay and that because I’m usually quiet it’s alright to mess around with me. But it feels like a betrayal because I actually consider him a friend. Then I took out the dogs and saw Max’s mange and at that point my Monday was already ruined even before it began. When I woke up at lunchtime it felt as if I didn’t get any rest at all. And I know tha…