fuck off 2012
Fuck off 2012. And since we’re on the subject, fuck off 2011. Amputa, di pa pala nakaka-move on ang bakla. Last night though it looked as if Manila was exploding in gay colors. Rume-rainbow bright lang ang kalawakan. May nagpapalipad pa nga Sky Lanterns eh. But all I could think of was the money being wasted. Peso signs ang nakikita ko! Magkano rin ‘yun! At hindi ba sila nanonood ng 24 Oras? Hindi ba sinabi na ni Sandra Aguinaldo na posibleng pag-simulan ng sunog ang Sky Lanterns. Hindi ba dapat sa dagat ‘yan pinapalipad at hindi sa mga residential area tulad ng lugar namin. And even if you did light up a Sky Lantern and sent it flying across the sea, what do you think will happen after the light had burned out and the materials came crashing down to earth? Kakainin ng turtles at frogs ang materials na ginamit mo at mamamatay sila. Mamamatay sila! Hindi ba kasama sa wishes ng Sky Lantern enthusiasts ang kapakanan ng mga palaka at pagong? Alam ko ‘yan dahil name-memohan na kami tungkol d’yan!
My 2012 was pretty much the same as 2011. It was filthy, erotic and exotic. Echos! Makapaandar lang. But who’s to say that it wasn’t? Maybe that’s how I want to remember my past years --- filled with delusions! I’ve celebrated quite a number of New Year’s and they pretty much look and feel the same to me --- too much noise, too much promises and too much cholesterol. Sabi nga ni Allen Ginsberg, people are creatures of habit. Maybe I’m taking the writer’s words too literally but to me it says that we can never change. We can learn a new thing or two but our genetic makeup doesn’t change because some wise-ass a few centuries ago decided that we count our existence by days, months and years. And if you are a sad old man in 2012 chances are you are still going to be sad and old --- no, older --- in 2013. Not unless you have yourself checked and maybe, just maybe, Prozac will do wonders for you.
But seriously, perhaps the most vivid and the most profound words I heard during the last year came from the movie Take This Waltz. “Life has a gap in it,” said the character Geraldine. “It just does. You don’t go crazy trying to fill it.” It made total sense to me. I realized that when it feels too painful to exist one should just stop moving. Just sit in a corner and let the howling winds and the flying debris pass. Until then don’t do anything because whatever you do in the middle of a storm will most probably be stupid. And one more thing if you are really, really, really depressed you must remember this: Don’t drink that last bottle and don’t put that dick in your mouth.
Sige na nga, Happy New Year.