friday morning


I woke up from a sad dream. That was at least the pervading atmosphere in the dream. In it I was watching an acquaintance ask a favour from our boss. She was telling her that she has to leave because her new husband wanted the family to be together at the dinner table. The woman was distraught but our boss was sympathetic. What was sad about it was that I was envious of their relationship. Watching them made me feel more alone.

It was just a few minutes after midnight when I woke up. I thought about drinking the left over beer inside the ref but I already had four bottles before I got home. I should stop drinking. Just yesterday, I sat in a neighbourhood tagsilogan at four in the morning with my stomach grumbling from too much alcohol, my chest hurting from too much smoke and with my ears being assailed first by Imelda Papin and then by April Boy Regino. I listened intently though, pondering the meaning of the lyrics to “Honey, my love so sweet.” The tapsilogan was making me miss the honky tonk bars that I used to get drag to during out of town shoots.

With an entire morning ahead of me, I decided to watch one of the documentaries I’ve downloaded. This one was about Julius Shulman, a legendary architectural photographer. Shulman made a career out of photographing modern designs and retired when post modern architecture came in. Apparently, Shulman loved modernism --- the fine elegant lines, the sparse spaces and the glass walls that made one aware of the movements of the sun, but hated post modernism. Post modernism, as one of the interviewees said, was what drag queens are to women. Hm that was slightly homophobic don’t you think? A few weeks ago, I stumbled on an article that basically proclaimed the same thing. Modern architectural designs, the article said, are very masculine as they are devoid of anything ornate. I told this to the boyfriend and he was slightly offended. Oo nga naman, may konting arte lang bakla na agad? In the age of modern architecture, the battle cry was Form follows function. Interesting no? The documentary made me want to take pictures of buildings even though I couldn’t take pictures without over or under exposing film.

And with that done and with a few more hours before sunrise I decided to blog hop. I found this droll questionnaire on zai moonchild’s blog. Ganda lang ng sagot niya sa question na favourite movie line: “It’s better to look at the sky than live here. Such an empty place; so vague. Just a country where the thunder goes and things disappear.” Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I love that movie. Audrey Hepburn, the cat, and the opening sequence with Holly arising from a taxi early in the morning holding a bagel and a cup of coffee to go window shopping at Tiffany’s. Then I thought about my own favourite movie line and all I could think of was Cher’s line on Moonstruck before she slapped the love struck baker played by Nicolas Cage. “Snap out of it,” she screamed. Further down the questionnaire there was one question that made me smile. “What is your favourite thing to do when you are alone?” Well, that one’s easy. Jerk off.





Isa sa mga kuha ni Julius Shulman, Case Study House, Los Angeles. 

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