sometime in the last decade

“I’ve been looking forward to that party all week,” he said, bemoaning the fact that the event might be cancelled. Deep inside me something instantly ached. But I’m always looking forward to seeing you, I thought. I don’t have anything else to be excited about apart from spending time with him to be honest.

I just turned my gaze to the balcony and watched the clouds roll by. Silently, they fold and unfolded, smoothly gliding from one end of the horizon to the other. Rain is eminent.

“What are you thinking about,” he asked me.

“The theory of relativity,” I said.

“Ginagago mo naman ako eh.”

Was it Tony Perez who said that the hardest things to talk about are the ones that are closest to our hearts? Or was it Stephen King? I don’t remember. Lately my brain seems like a puzzle with various pieces missing. Or is it because I’ve been coursing everything through my heart, which is already filled with holes? I’m not making any sense, am I? I feel weird today. It’s as if my head wasn’t screwed right. But then when was it ever?

- sometime in the last decade

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