si marlon brando, si batman at ang aking sabado

Marlon Brando as Stanley Kowalski

Saturday. It’s pretty quiet here at the apartment. I wish I was somewhere else. Drunk. But not in a bar. In a beach maybe. Drunk while the dogs are lying on the sand. That sounds great. But right now I’m just drunk at the apartment. I really needed to drink tonight. Since last week, I’ve been extra crazy. It’s not the money. Or the boyfriend. Or my job. I don’t know. When my friend and I sat down for dinner last night, the first thing that came out of his mouth was: “I have so many issues.” He was smiling at least. Then an SP ambled over and talked to him about, well, more issues. Maybe it’s the age no?

My boyfriend and I were watching “Streetcar Named Desire” last night (or was it two nights ago, I don’t remember). Marlon Brando was a sight to behold. I think my shorts fell to the floor when he came out screaming: “Stellaaaaa! Stellaaaaaa.” I thought he was unbelievably attractive. Such animal magnetism no? I saw the local production of the play a few years ago at the CCP. Bagay kay Eula Valdez yung role na Blache Dubois. Basta bagay sa kanya. But Neil Ryan Sese --- who has been my crush since, what, year 2000? --- was nothing compared to Marlon’s Stanley. The movie was pretty good (classic nga eh!) and I was completely enamoured with Blache. Such a gay character no? Don’t we all depend on the kindness of strangers? Especially when we’re horny (or lonely)?

I’ve been watching a lot of old Hollywood classics lately --- “Some Like It Hot” (Kaloka ang mga sexual innuendoes at double entendres), “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” (yes, I’m in my Marilyn Monroe phase), and “Streecar” as I’ve mentioned above. Meron pa akong “The Lost Weekend,” “Singing in the Rain,” “The Seven Year Itch” and maybe I’ll try to watch some Rita Hayworth or Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire (who, as Truman Capote wrote, swung both ways and had a gigantic dick).

I’m meandering no? I don’t know. The entire apartment --- no, the entire floor is quiet right now. Moments like these make me seriously doubt my own existence. Do I even exist? Am I just dreaming? Do I... well, you get the drift. I just had an idea. Sometimes when it is this quiet, I could feel my soul departing from my body. Parang manananggal lang di ba? Astral projection chu-chu. Only I’m awake. Or going crazy.

Anyway, maybe I should just change the title of this blog to, um, Batman diaries? Wala lang. Just a drunken thought. And the entries will be along the lines of “I went out tonight to patrol the city and guest what?! I met a woman. Dressed as a cat. And I fell in love with her! Do you think we’re bagay? I don’t know. I dress up as a bat and she dresses up as a cat. Do you think the relationship will work? Do bats regularly fall in love with cats? I thought a bat is a rat with wings? Does that mean she’ll forever be after me? This is confusing. Love, Batman.”

Okay, I'm drunk. I should stop. Like, right now.


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