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Showing posts from June, 2011

exploding head syndrome

Lately, I have been having really bad dreams, nightmares actually. And whenever I’m about to have one I could feel my head throb and swell. Usually I end up being half-awake, conscious that I’m still in a dream but helpless enough not to be able to move my body. A few weeks ago, my boyfriend told me about a dream he had at the apartment where a seemingly malevolent entity kept repeating what I said before we slept. Before we went to bed, I asked the boyfriend if he had taken his medicine and in his dream a woman was violently asking him the same question as if mocking him. A few days later, I would experience the same thing where a man kept echoing what I said earlier. It has gotten worse since then. Last Sunday, while we were taking an afternoon nap, I dreamed that I was looking at a dark screen, pitch dark really, and I was shouting at it, trying to coerce the entity into showing his face. Then I saw a silhouette of a man followed in quick succession by several symbols and faces. At…

coffee in the afternoon, gin at midnight

I am in a cafe. The weather's a bit nice. Cool. Not sweltering. There is a possibility of rain. Well, apparently a big storm is hitting Manila in a few hours. I'm not exactly feeling well and this is after having a fabulous time with Jed last night and after having a fabulous deal at the computer shop just a few minutes ago. I don't know. Maybe I've been staying at the apartment too long. Maybe I've been paying too much attention to my emotions. But then if you find yourself suddenly crying in the shower, don't you think there is something wrong? It's such a cliche no, crying in the shower. But I think this breakdown is long overdue. Should've had it when I was 25. And yes, maybe that's what I'm currently having: a breakdown.

I watch the stream of people, looking for a familiar face. I see one and he mistakes me for my ex. I normally get mistaken for my brother. I ask him if the ex has been going to their place because I stupidly thought that th…