x-files

Well, it’s official. My five year relationship is over. It has been over for almost two weeks now but it was just this morning that he finally packed his bag and left our apartment. The very same apartment where we ate, slept, and fucked for almost four years.

But yes I was the one who broke up with him. I broke up with him because I realized that in the last three years we were together I have begun to hate him. He knows why I hate him.

But yes he did take very good care of me. He cleaned my apartment, prepared my meals, gave me massages every night, took care of my dog and perhaps even loved me. I don’t know. I’m just trying to be fair. I did love the guy. In fact, I was hoping that he would still stay here at the apartment but then last night I got drunk and thinking that since we had broken up a week before it would be okay to bring home a guy.

Well, surprise!

As soon as he left, the first thing I noticed was the pervading silence that seemed to have enveloped the apartment. I turned the TV on, brought the volume up, and opened the door and windows but of course I knew it was useless. What I was hearing, ping-ponging between my ears, was the sound of someone leaving. It was the void that someone usually leaves after a break-up and it cannot in any way be filled by mere noises.

04.10.11

Comments

ugh.

this entry is so heavy. brief but heavy.

i wish you well. follow your happiness

:)
Blakrabit said…
Same thing with me. Though I'm the dumpee and I was the one who packed my bags from my ex's house. I guess it's breakup month again. :(
bwisit! said…
@wandering... yeah, i sure hope to find even just a little piece of happines (and of course, im also wishing the ex lots of happiness and love, for real) hahahaha!

@blakrabit... hmmm something to do with the planetary movement? hahaha! pero oo nga a relationship usually leave a void. it can't be helped.
Blakrabit said…
Ang tanong lang.. What do we fill it with? Or will that space forever be empty?
bwisit! said…
we fill it with, um, cute guys? hahaha!

seriously, i guess until we recover from the break-up we will constantly feel that void. but once we move on and get used to the idea of being alone (or perhaps when we start dating other guys), the void will no longer be a void but, well, it depends on the situation, but most probably just a memory of someone we once loved.

i don't know. did i made any sense? hahaha!
che_descendant said…
that void is void when either we are already used to being alone or another one, enough to fill-in the empty space, comes along...and of course, it will be an unpleasant process...but time will be a friend. heal well ;)
MisterKings said…
Does this mean I have a chance now?! LOL. Just kidding. It's sad to hear that you two are over. Been reading a lot of posts about you in this blog and now it's officially done. Sad, too sad actually that the only thing you could ever wish is happiness.
bwisit! said…
hehehe!

but yeah happiness is such an elusive thing noh? San ba kasi nagtatago ang punyetang happiness na yan? hahahaha!
MisterKings said…
Speechless. Dahil diyan liligawan na kita. HAHAHA

Oo bwisit yang si happiness. Kung maginarte kala mo kagandahan?! hahaha

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