The happy horse

"im dying," her boyfriend said, raising his cigarette to his mouth, inhaling a lung full, "metaphorically." she just looks at him, her boyfriend of two years, a lit major. she grabbed her bag and dashed for the exit. "where are you going?" he screamed after her. she didn't bother to look back. "i'm running," she thought. "away from you. literally."


upon reaching the main road, she immediately hailed a cab.

"Manong, Tomas Morato po."

And step on it. As the taxi drove away, she wondered whom she would call for a drink. She took out her cellphone and scrolled down for names and numbers.

Patrick? Too brotherly.

Agnes? Too loud.

Enchong? Too gay.

Leslie? Too boring.

Maggie? Too fucked up.

She needed someone to drink with, someone who wouldn't over analyze her generalizations. Someone who would just sit there and wouldn't care. Mostly she just needed someone to drink with.

"Ah, alam ko na," she thought. "Deedee."

She scrolled down for her number and pressed call. The bitch answered on the second ring.

"Busy night?"

"Yeah, busy as always."


"I need a drink."

"Ok, where do you want to go?"

Same place as always.

She arrived at the joint a few minutes earlier and had the luxury of picking their spot. This time, she opted to sit outside where she could have a wonderful view of the traffic building up on a Saturday night and the pleasure of being harassed by DVD and cigarette hawkers. She signals to the waiter and gives her order. When Deedee showed up, she has already downed two rum cokes.

"you're buying right?"

"since when did you pay for your own drink?"

"im just saying. i just want it to be clear ok."

she snorts and waves at the waiter again.

"another rum coke?"

"no, im switching to red horse."

"make it four," says Deedee to the waiter. "he's kind of cute."

"you know i don't go for guys."

"but you have a boyfriend."

"he's an exception."

"if you wanted to have a real man you should have gone out with me."

"if i wanted you to lick my pussy i would have asked you years ago."

"fair enough."

"the traffic's building up."

"it's a saturday."

"the red tail lights are kind of nice."

"are you high?"

"high from what?"

"you know what i mean."

"no. why? am i annoying?"

"a bit."

"fair enough. did you know that there is such a thing called as a happy horse?"

"what do you mean?"

"apparently, there's always one bottle of red horse where you can see the horse smiling."

deedee laughs.

"apparently, it's true."

the red horse arrives and the two spend time looking at the logo.

"hey, dee, this one looks like he's smiling."

"nah, i don't think so. i think this one's grumpy."

"and this one's kind of winking at me."

"who knew each logo had its own unique expression."

"i love this drink. i could drink this till morning."

"not unless you get all smashed up first."

"yeah. but i want to get drunk."

"ok. i won't ask why."

"please don't."

"i'm not asking."

"oh come on. please deedee. im not in the mood."

"but since we're on the subject... bakit nga?"

"leche ka deedee."

silence. a young lady from the street spots the two and ambles over.

"flowers for the lady?" she tells deedee as she puts out a bouquet of roses.

deedee looks at her and then at her drunk companion. a smile slowly broke across deedee's face.

"oh god."

"give me two."

"deedee, wag nang makulit."

"it's not for you. it's for peachy and... for her. para sa iyo. ang ganda mo kasi."

"ay salamat po," says the girl, blushing.

"leche ka, deedee, leche ka," she says as she got up to go to the ladies room.

"pagpasensyahan mo na ha, selosa kasi si misis."

"ganyan po talaga ang mga babae."

"oo nga eh. sakit sa ulo."

when she returns to the table, the roses were nowhere to be found. she didn't bother to ask where deedee threw them.

"you only have a bottle left, should i order you another one?"

she looked at her remaining bottle and tried to drink it all up in one gulp.

"girl, easy, take it easy."

"i want to get really really drunk tonight."

"but you're already drunk."

"i know."

"let me drive you home."

"but i dont want to go home."

"why dont you just go home with me."

"fuck you deedee, fuck. you."

"tangina, so what do you want to do? just sit here?"

"bakit hindi? magkamustahan."

"mag-isa ka."

she got a stick from her cigarette case.

"it's humid tonight no. i kind of wish i was in a beach."

"oo nga sarap mag-swimming. remember the time when we..."

"please, don't. not tonight."


"look at the couple behind you. aren't they cute?"

"sino? sila? but they aren't a couple."

"yes, they are."

"you're tripping."

"how about that couple over there?"

"that, for sure, is a couple."

"i wonder what he is thinking?"

"who, the one on the right?"

"i think he's thinking 'let's fuck tonight. i'll let you fuck me fucking hard tonight.'"

"and he's saying 'not till you let me rim you.'"

"how sweet. i think i'm getting a hard on."

"you know what i think? i think you're drunk. finish your last bottle and i'll drive you home."

she takes one last swig at her red horse and started collecting her things.

"let's go to rabbits."

"ok, not till you pay our bill."

"ok. waiter."

later at rabbits, the two sit in a corner upstairs. her head is on deedee's shoulder while deedee's clutching a microphone, singing a love song. she just stays that way as her companion slug through set after set of the most blood-curdling love songs known to man. bottles, on the hand, start to pile up on their table.

"you're kind of cheesy, deedee, you know that don't you?"

"this one's for you..."

deedee then launches into a celine dion hit song, the one featured in a disaster movie.

"i think i'm going to throw up," she says.

deedee laughs.

"no, seriously, i think i'm going to blow."

"ay putang ina," deedee screams into the mic while quickly pushing her into the floor. she flies out of her embrace and immediately throws up as she lands on the wooden floor.

"putang ina mo! waiter!"

a guy quickly climbs up the stairs and sees her lying on the floor, swimming in her own vomit. deedee looks on, horrified. she's smiling.

"ma'm iuwi na ninyo ito," the waiter says.

"kung pwede lang eh... hoy nasan ang wallet mo? huy, lasengga, where's your wallet?"

she motions towards her bag as she crawls back to her seat.

"punyeta ka, ang kalat mo! brod, sorry ha. patulong na lang magdala sa kanya sa kotse."

"ayoko pang umuwi."

"ma'm wild itong syota ninyo ah," the guy says.

"di ko syota yan. wala akong syotang lasengga."

with the help of the waiter, they drag her downstairs and finally into deedee's car.

"girl, you fucking stink."

"no, you stink. you fucking moron."

deedee rolls down the window and lights a cigarette.

"so where do you want to go now? i guess i should just drive you home."

"let's just stay here. i want to sleep here."

"tang-ina mare, i swear, i'm just going to kick you out and leave you on the street tonight."

"why don't you just do that."

"wag mo akong i-dare gagawin ko talaga yan."

"dee, i have something serious to tell you..."

"ano? inre-regla ka na? gusto mo nang mami? ano?"

"I'm dying..."

deedee looks at her. dead serious.

"metaphorically, i mean."

deedee whips her hard on the head. "Tang ina mo. Mamatay ka na."

For a split second, she sobered up. She knew she actually deserved that.




"ano putang ina!"


"ewan ko sayo. sakit ka sa ulo."

deedee starts the engine and begins to drive them out of tomas morato. in the east, the sun is making its presence, casting an eerie glow in the sky.


"don't fucking mention it."


fuchsiaboy said…
i died metaphorically ;)
bwisit! said…

by the way, i saw the japanese prefecture in your blog. lovely. just lovely. hehehe
Ate Sienna said…
kaloka!!! enjoy ko talaga itong mga ganito mong entries.
bwisit! said…
salamat ate sienna hehehehe! btw natuwa naman ako dun sa gay dictionary entry mo... di ako makapagcomment dun sa blog mo for some reason. parating niri-reject...
Ate Sienna said…
huh??? kaya pala namimiss na kita dun. kapag nagcomment ka, pwede favor? paki-note down yung nakalagay na error. baka kaya yun din ang problema ng iba kaya hindi maka-comment :(
bwisit! said…
sige po. akala ko naman nire-reject ninyo lang yung comments ko hehehehe

Popular posts from this blog

sop tips (o kung papaano huwag matakot makipagtalik sa telepono)

para sa masa (or why the eraserheads, even if they are still together, can't possibly sing "toyang" over and over again)