Paging Carl Jung
The scene was straight out of Love Story, the bit where Warren and his lady love dropped by Katherine Hepburn's house in some beautiful island. There were verdant hills everywhere and the sky above was like a vast empty blue space, like an infinite ocean.
I walk down the valley where there were a couple of glass houses (or houses made of glass) . I was talking to some people when I hear a faint Natalie Merchant song. I excused myself to find where the music was coming from. It was already dusk and I thought it would be just lovely to sit and listen to the song while watching the sun slip into the horizon. My search led me to a young man living in one of the glass houses. I asked him if he could turn the stereo louder. We went inside the house and I was immediately impressed with the interiors. The walls were made of glass as well and I could clearly see the hills from the living room. It was small and a bit cluttered and everywhere I looked there were books of all kinds. "Eto ang dream house ko," I thought to myself.
After a few minutes, we went outside again. He was shy and I just realized it now that he bears some resemblance to my first boyfriend. He was mumbling something. He asked me if I wanted to stay over the night and if I did he said I could sleep in his room. Then we were off, walking towards the hills, looking for a space to fuck.
Nasa QC Circle ako lulan ng isang jeepney. Kasama ko ang kaibigan kong si Lany. Sabi niya: Remember the crisis that we went through in the '90s? Sa isip isip ko, what crisis? You weren't in a crisis. I was in a crisis. Katabi namin ay isang baklang teacher at ang kaibigan niyang babae. May welga na naman, sabi niya.
We were now in Espana. "Hayaan mo sila," sabi ni professora. "Bigyan ko nga sila ng uno dahil sumasama sila sa rally."
Nasa isang malaking bed kami. Ako, ang ka-opisina kong lesbiyana, si professora at ang kaibigan naman niyang lesbiyana rin. The two lesbians were talking about love.
"If she's ok then why are you still looking for another one," sabi ng isa.
"Nagka-syota ka na ng artista? Siguro masaya yun," singit naman ng kasama ko. Hindi ako nakikinig. I was somehow transfixed at a dark, empty apartment on the fourth floor. i knew it was abandoned because i was forever spying on it when i still lived in the area. Nakabukas lahat ng bintana at pintuan at ang makikita mo lang ay ang kadiliman sa loob nito. Then nakita ko siya. Isang babaeng naka-white, mahaba ang buhok biglang nag-cross ng room. Then another sighting. Para siyang paikot ikot sa loob ng apartment. I realized that she was dancing. Binubulong ko na sa mga kasama ko: Nakita mo siya? Nakita mo siya? Nakita rin nila.
Then I am on our bed, facing my boyfriend. I could see him dreaming as well. Nakita mo siya? tanong ko sa kanya. Bigla akong nakaramdaman na may isang taong tumabi sa akin at yumakap. "Siya na ba ito?" tanong ko sa boyfriend ko who kept on dreaming. "Siya na ba ito?"
Then I woke up and heard my boyfriend talking in his sleep.
my boyfriend and i were going to an orgy. he was reluctant but still i kept on telling him that it would be fun. the place was a little shabby and the guys were mostly unattractive. the boyfriend began making out with a rather cute kid while i stood in some corner eyeing other men. the host was beside me, playing with a gun. suddenly it goes off and hits the kid who was with my boyfriend. when i saw blood come out of the kid's head, i immediately grabbed my boyfriend's hand and went out of the house. for some reason, we were fleeing like fugitives. i didn't want to be implicated with the accident.
My eyes were bleeding. Blood was streaking down my face like a black Max Factor mascara. My boyfriend was there but he didn't seem too alarmed. I remember taking note of the color of the blood. It wasn't red at all. It was darker, more like maroon.
My mother keeps dreaming of dogs. Evil dogs who bare their teeth inches away from her face. I take it that the dogs were huge and black and slicked with slime. Apparently, she woke the entire household a few days ago when she let out a scream in her sleep. A few days before that she dreamed of dog turds scattered all over her backyard.
Meanwhile I dream of Piolo Pascual. In my dream, I was trying my best not to bring up the subject of men. I go around in circles, asking him artsy-fartsy questions when all I wanted to know is if he is really into guys.
The illustration above is from Carl Jung's "Red Book." Apparently, Jung wrote and illustrated his dreams between 1914 and 1930 when he decided to retreat from the academe. Although Jung considered that period of his life as an experiment ("a voluntary confrontation with the unconscious," sabi sa Wikipedia), some of his biographers are still wondering if he was, in fact, undergoing a psychotic episode at that time. The illustrations were kept in a vault until recently when it was published in the US.