Showing posts from January, 2010

Johnny oh please be good

Dear Lloydie,

O Llyodie. Oh my dearest Johnny boy. You are so cute especially with that wisp of hair growing above your lips. Parang kang batang nagbibinata. Buti na lang hindi tayo nagkatuluyan dahil kung ganun siguradong mabubuwang ako sayo ng bonggang bongga. Hindi ko yata keri ang kiligin every morning at ma-lost every time na aalis ka para sa iyong taping, shooting, whatever. You are like a teddy bear with those slightly big black eyes, chubby cheeks and full lips. Parang ang sarap-sarap mong yakap-yakapin, amoy-amoyin, halik-halikan, kan... never mind. I love you too much to put into writing my crazy salacious thoughts. Buti pa si Ciara, naging jowa ka. Alam mo bang nakita kita minsan sa Makati Avenue? Naglalakad lang ako papunta sa sakayan ng jeep nang biglang nakita kitang lumabas ng isang van. Naka-suot ka ng orange jeans, bulky shoes, at checkered vest. Buti na lang you were smiling oh-so-naughtily kaya hindi ko napansin ang iyong fashion disaster. I think kakatapos mo lang …

mag-moment nga muna

listening to debussy while staring at my pulsating brown navel, fascinated with all the hair that's crawling down my pants. outside, clouds float by, scattered like specks of semen on a clear blue water.

ps. sabi ng mga ka-trabaho ko: tama na ang drama. bakla, may ep pa tayo mamaya. magtrabaho ka na punyeta! ahahaha!

how i wish

i could experience pleasure without the cruel after taste
or the hangover
or guilt

pleasure without context
without consequences
prolonged, not ephemeral
ungodly, unnatural, unprecedented
ceaseless and unwavering

pleasure so good it explodes
right through the fingertips

everything in moderation

"In everyday language, the term 'hedonism' denotes an amoral tendency to a life of sensuality, if not outright vice. This is inaccurate, of course: Epicurus, the first great theoretician of pleasure, had a highly sceptical understanding of the happy life: pleasure is the absence of suffering. Suffering, then, is the fundamental notion of hedonism: one is happy to the degree that one can avoid suffering, and since pleasures often bring more unhappiness than happiness, Epicurus recommneds only such pleasures as are prudent and modest. Epicurean wisdom has a melancholy backdrop: flung into the world's misery, man sees that the only clear and reliable value is the pleasure, however paltry, that he can feel for himself: a gulp of cool water, a look at the sky, a caress."

- pg. 8 "Slowness," Milan Kundera

Wouldn't it be nice?

Since 2010 started a little heavy for me, I thought I could use some good vibrations. What I did was I downloaded a few Beach Boys songs and so I'm now dancing to Surfin' USA.

"If everybody had an ocean/ Across the U.S.A./ Then everybody'd be surfin'/ Like californ-I-A/ You'd see 'em wearin' their baggies/ Huarachi sandals, too/ A bushy bushy blonde hairdo/ Surfin' U.S.A."

I know baggies, huarachi sandals and bushy, bushy blonde hairdo sounds like a manong hippie with toasted wrinkly skin. But listening to the song at 4 in the morning on a cold January night is actually quite fun. This despite the fact that the song immediately reminds me of a horrible summer production number complete with celebrities singing off-key while dressed in tacky Hawaiian shirts.

"Well she got her daddy's car/ And she cruised through the hamburger stand now/ Seems she forgot all about the library/ Like she told her old man now/ And with the radio blasting/ Go…

Paging Carl Jung


The scene was straight out of Love Story, the bit where Warren and his lady love dropped by Katherine Hepburn's house in some beautiful island. There were verdant hills everywhere and the sky above was like a vast empty blue space, like an infinite ocean.

I walk down the valley where there were a couple of glass houses (or houses made of glass) . I was talking to some people when I hear a faint Natalie Merchant song. I excused myself to find where the music was coming from. It was already dusk and I thought it would be just lovely to sit and listen to the song while watching the sun slip into the horizon. My search led me to a young man living in one of the glass houses. I asked him if he could turn the stereo louder. We went inside the house and I was immediately impressed with the interiors. The walls were made of glass as well and I could clearly see the hills from the living room. It was small and a bit cluttered and everywhere I looked there were books of all kinds. "…