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Showing posts from 2010

Saved by Lady Gaga

1pm. Was woken up by Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance. I don’t know if the speakers were so loud that it woke me up or my booty just couldn’t help but dance to the song (Ay caramba… you know I love you I love your romance… Wehehehe!). As I sashayed out of the bedroom I remembered the dream that I just had. No, actually it wasn’t just a regular dream it was a nightmare. I was back at work and our taping was about to start and I haven’t written the script yet. Everyone is already on the set --- the hosts and guests --- and our executive producer is nagging me to hurry up. Only I can’t seem to write even a simple sentence because I’m way too fucked-up to write anything. I kept thinking: This used to be easy what the fuck happened? Then I woke up and realized it was just a dream. Yes, I actually told myself to calm down and let it go because it’s only a dream. But then I dozed off and there I was again in the middle of a taping still with no script in hand. If it wasn’t for Lady Gaga I would still…

Defying gravity

It’s only 8:30 and our concerned and thoughtful neighbors are already playing their 2010 greatest hits collection. They are such lovely neighbors no? I think they’ll serenade us till dawn, you know, so we wouldn’t feel so blue. I just know that Chichi will have a heart attack once the putukan starts later this evening. Poor Chichi. Hope I’m not too drunk later so I could videotape him going berserk. Just kidding.

I’m trying to get drunk before midnight. Why? Wala lang bakit ba? I’m inside my room drinking gin and coke and munching on pizza while downloading some songs and blogging. Multi-tasking ito teh! And so Mark Zuckerberg, right? By the way, have you read Time Magazine’s article on him? Mark is obsessed daw of eliminating anonymity on the net. No, that’s the wrong perception pala of people. All that Mark wants is to bring people closer. Yeah, like Planet Romeo. In fact, after reading the issue, which was great by the way (I actually understood what Wikileaks is all about), I thou…

FEAR AND LOATHING IN SAGADA

My longish entry to a somewhat longish trip

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Was it a Wednesday or a Tuesday? I can’t seem to remember. All I know is that the day after our Laguna trip I was picking Robert up in Tomas Morato to go to Sagada. We’ve been talking about it for weeks but to be honest I wasn’t taking it seriously. I sort of kept hoping that it wouldn’t push through since I already planned on using the money I have saved on my tuition. But what the hell, I haven’t been on a trip for years so there we were, Robert, the boyfriend and I, braving a very busy night. It’s Holy Week and apparently everybody is fleeing the city.

“Do you think we’d get tickets?” Robert asked me.

Sure, I said, I mean, how many Manila residents are actually thinking of going to Sagada on Holy Week? If we were going to Boracay or Puerto Gallera I’d be worried. But of course I’m stupid so what do I know. When we arrived at the station there were already a dozen stranded passengers waiting to get seats. By this time, Robert’s frien…

portents

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So my netbook finally bogged down just when my taping days are coming up. Since I have a few deadlines for tomorrow, I went out to write my scripts in an Internet cafe. But just when I was almost done, the PC that I was using started bogging down as well. Oh god. Am I such a bad writer that the PCs of the world are preventing me from producing any atrocity? Parang kaninang umaga lang yan eh. After I had spent all my money, I went out to check on my ATM if the office has already issued our paycheck only to realize that payday is still a day away. Oh, since we’re on the subject of cosmic malas the cab driver that the universe sent me earlier was so horrifyingly uncouth that he almost ruined my night. As revenge, I asked for my P15 sukli and, mind you I never ask for my change. By the way, when I came home I noticed that my dog has been spending too much time with the boyfriend, prompting me to have serious doubts about my relationship with my… dog. Doubts, as in, if she still loves me. …

sabado nights

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isang gabing tulad rin nito nang tanungin ko ang aking boyfriend kung bakit hindi na niya ako dine-date. sa aming dalawa kasi, ako ang palalabas. ang mahilig sa coffee at beer. sa pa-morningan na inuman. sa lakarang wala namang katuturan. mga three to four years ago, pakiramdam ko loser ako kung wala akong lakad kapag sabado. nagmumukmok ako sa bahay kapag ganun, nakikipag-chat, sumusubok na makipag-hook up. naaalala ko pa, nuong nasa dyaryo pa ako naging ugali ko na ang dumiretso sa restawran pagkatapos ng trabaho. isang platong sisig, mainit-init na rice, mga tatlong order ng coke. pagkatapos yosi sabay segue sa inuman. solb. no wonder lumobo ako ng todo todo. nuong lumipat naman ako sa tv prod, naging ugali ng mga kaibigan kong magbabad sa meat shop habang ang mga editor namin ay nagdi-digitize ng aming mga na-shoot. at nung nagka-crush ako sa isang editor, pati siya niyaya na rin namin sa inuman in the hopes of... what? never mind. may live-in girlfriend na siya ngayon. minsan nga…

thefacebook update

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As the opening credits of The Social Network flashed on screen, Rochelle and I immediately spotted a familiar name.

"Buhay pa si Trent Reznor," I told Rochelle.

"Wow, kilala mo si Trent Reznor."

Owel, there goes our age.

I seriously loved The Social Network. Lately, I've been loving David Fincher's work although Benjamin Button bored me to bits (it felt like a prestige project, I much prefer Zodiac). It also helped that I already had a huge crush on Jesse Eisenberg ever since I saw him in Adventureland, which I thought was a hell lot better than 500 Days of Summer (I thought that movie was phony though I fell madly in love with Joseph Gordon Levitt --- I know I prefer my men skinny and a bit nerdy). Right after the movie, I immediately googled Mark Zuckerberg and Sean Parker and boy they should both send the casting director gifts because they sure don't look like Jesse and Justin. I assume that Justin was cast because the character should have effortless…

Something from the book I'm currently trying to read

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"One single moment comes closest to summing up my friendship with Juno. It's the moment I've experienced many times since, but the first instance I was aware of took place on those cliffs on the west side of the Hudson River. We'd been hiking strenuously and were taking a rest. We were sitting on a rock, looking out over the river toward Yonkers. It was a perfect sping day, brilliant sky, new leaves and grasses, fragnant breezes. We felt good.

After a while, I began to realize that the dog and I were sharing a thought. It wasn't anything special or complicated --- it was something a man could think and a dog could think. It was something like... 'Ahhh!'"

- pg 101

Uncle Boris in the Yukon
and Other Shaggy Dog Stories
Daniel Pinkwater




How I wish magka-moment rin kami ni Chichi...

goodbye kiss

kaninang umaga si chichi nakiki-goodbye kiss rin nang makita niyang nag-kiss si boyfriend. so cute. i love that dog. seriously.

Tweet… Tweet… Tweet…

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Today is a Friday. “My cat is trying to make out with me,” tweeted Susan Orlean from New York. “If It puts you down… trash it,” said Ricky Martin (or in his native tongue “si no te hace bien [en la vida]… pa’la basura”). Neil Gaiman, on the other hand, announced that he loves “bad old dinosaur theme parks.” All these while Carlos Celdran tweets from Manila, once again courting controversy by tweeting: “there is scandal in the churches of Intramuros, a revolution in the minds of the people and a Galleon…”

Yesterday, before I went to work, I typed in that I’m “always looking for my next obsession.” This Twitter thing is definitely a curious thing.

Meron akong fifteen movies...

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1.The Baby Sitter

I think this is the very first porn I saw. Hindi ko siya makakalimutan dahil isang batalyon yata kami na magkakaibigan nagsiksikan sa isang maruming couch habang excited na pinapanood ang mga nagkakangkangan sa TV. Imporkrita pa ako noon. kunwari pang tinatakpan ko ang mata ko ng kamay ko pero nakabukas naman yung mga daliri. Nang dahil sa movie na ito, napapangisi ako every time na may nagbabanggit ng baby sitter... Wahahaha!

2. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

I so fell in love with this movie that I simply refused to get out of the theater. Pagkatapos noon naghanap talaga ako ng libro at hindi tumigil hanggang natapos ko ang Return of the King. I felt like I was Frodo, frail and seemingly helpless, but still pursuing his task to the darkest parts of Mordor.



3. The English Patient

This movie cemented my obsession with Ralph Fiennes (I first saw him in Robert Redford's Quiz). And because I was so obsessed with Ralph Fiennes I started reading the book fr…

What I've learned on my way to Tralala land

Wait. Hold on a minute. I think I'm on the verge of a breakdown. I keep joking to myself that this is the right time to have a breakdown since I only have a few things to do but now that I could feel it coming I'm scared. Really scared. It's like flying a hopelessly crashing plane. It feels inevitable. I need to hold on to something. I need to focus. I need to fight this. I shouldn't take this sitting down.

I exactly know when this started. Two weeks ago, I experienced probably my most stressful week of the year. Everyday I was struggling to beat my deadlines. One morning, for example, had me securing an equipment for a film class while I was trying to book an interview for my MA subject. I was also looking for an interviewee for my magazine article and coordinating with our sp and researcher for two of the three episodes that I would write for that week. And yes, that was just my morning activities. To top it all, my Thursday had me jumping from one show to another in…

Ketchup

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Remember in Pulp Fiction when after a fun night of dancing and hamburgers and milkshakes John and Uma go home to get stoned out of their wits. John puts on some music and goes out to pee while Uma snorts more coke and blood starts dripping out of her nostrils. John then finds Uma ODing on the sofa only she couldn't OD because he would be in deep shit if she dies on him so he rushes her to his friend, a dope dealer, and smashes the small figurines on the lawn with his car. Eric Stolz comes out of his house cursing in his bathrobe and in comes John with Uma dead in his arms. They drag her into the living room and all three of them, including Eric's hysterical wife, are cursing and shouting because they don't know what to do. Eric says that the only way to revive her is to shoot adrenaline right into her heart but nobody wants to do it and they are running out of time. So John gets a red marker and draws a circle right in the middle of Uma's rib cage and stabs her with th…

How Paglilitis ni Andres Bonifacio made me feel so stupid (as opposed to Inception, which made me feel smart)

So there I was, outside UP Film Center with Weng, on a rainy Wednesday evening. We have just seen Mario O Hara's Paglilitis ni Andres Bonifacio and both of us were boggled by the movie's treatment of Bonifacio's last days.

"It's theatrical no?" I asked Weng.

"Very much so. Parang combination siya ng folklore (Ibong Adarna), magic realism and actual historical documents. Pero ano ang silbi ni bald-headed girl?"

"I think she's a clown. Didn't the movie specified in the beginning that it's a comedy?"

"Sort of like a narrator in a theater play. Very theatrical talaga."

"But it has its poetic moments: the silhouette of the flags in the window as Filipinos flee from war, the floating fire outside the witch's hut..."

"Na parang Gabriel Garcia Marquez lang... And don't forget the prisoners' sing-along..."

"Na parang ang kulang na lang si Noel Cabangon..."

"I know right. Pero ano ang si…

priceless

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Kanina, habang pinagmamasdan namin ni boyfriend si Chichi na natutulog sa bed, sabi ko: "Kung mamamatay ako, ipakain mo ang liver ko kay Chichi ha."

Tumayo na lang si boyfriend at nag-timpla ng kape. You're going crazy.

But I'd chop off my arm just to make my dog happy. Seriously.

Parang kelan lang, iniihian pa niya ang unan ko. Pero ngayon, sa front door ng kapit bahay na lang. She's already four months old by the way. Nagtataka nga ang mga kaibigan ko dahil super obsessed ako sa kanya. I guess they were surprised with my capacity to love someone apart from myself. In the beginning, I stupidly thought that she would be the antidote to my growing cynicism. Perhaps with the rejuvenative power of canine cuteness I would emerge friendlier and more approachable. Upon closer inspection, however, I realized that my affinity for the dog stems from my intensifying distrust of humans.

Pero paano ko ba naman hindi mamahalin ang isang asong kung todo kahol tuwing umuuwi ako. …

ang madramang gripo

How can I be so careless? What made me think that he wouldn't mind? I don't know. He seemed genuinely hurt. I go to him while he is in front of the sink washing his face. I embrace him tightly and whisper "I love yous" in his ear. He doesn't respond but merely smile through the mirror. I look at our reflection. We are no longer young. He tries to turn off the faucet but water still leaks through. I look at it and laugh.

"What a convenient metaphor," I said. "Pati gripo nagda-drama."

"Nothing works in this house," he replied. "It's filled with holes."

I loosen my grip on him. He walks out of the bathroom. I follow him to our room.

Andrea

Hinatak ni Andrea ang puting tali at mabilis na tumulak pataas ang kalawanging blinds na pink. Dapit-hapon pa lang nuon pero busing busy na siya sa pagpapaganda. Sa katunayan kagagaling lang niya sa banyo kung saan mahigit dalawang oras rin siyang nagbabad. Pakiramdam nga niya'y halos lahat nang sa kanya'y pwede nang tikman sapagkat makailang ulit rin siyang naligo sa mainit na tubig at nagpahid ng kung ano anong cream at lotion. Nagtungo siya sa harapan nang salamin kung saan makikita ang samu't saring mga pabango't make-up at pulbos. Pinindot ang electric fan at ninamnam muna ang malamig na hangin. Kay sarap ng hangin, sa isip isip niya, parang niroromansa ang kanyang basang kutis.

Tinanggal niya sa pagkakabuhol ang tuwalya sa kanyang ulo at nilugay ang kanyang maitim at mahabang buhok. Tuwing nakababa ito'y mas lalong lumiliit ang kanyang mukha. Ang tanging makikita lang ay ang kanyang matalim na cheek bones, singkit na mga mata at manipis na labi. Namumukha tul…

kokak!

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Nuong isang araw nag-channel surfing ako. Lahat ang ingay ingay. Lahat sigaw ng sigaw. Lahat may birthday at lahat dadak ng dadak. Chika ng chika pero wala namang totoong laman.

Siguro dahil hindi natin alam kung bakit tayo nandito, lahat tayo kokak ng kokak. the meaningless noise that we make seems to be our angry reaction to the futility of life. Maybe it would be better if for once we would just shut the fuck up. Maybe then we would find meaning in silence.

aliwan paradise

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As early as now, the list of leading candidates looks like a line-up for a Famas production number. You have Ate Vi who can do an explosive opening dance number; Bong Revilla, Jinggoy Estrada, and Tito Sotto for an oldies but goodies medley; and perhaps, with enough cajoling, we could have an additional surprise acoustic number with matching karate exhibition courtesy of Lito Lapid. The host, of course, would be Kris Aquino (but then this has always been Krissie's world and we all just live in it).

I wonder how the SONA would be like? Would it be like one gigantic supershow with Kuya Germs as host? Maybe in the next elections, we could have a Philippine Idol special Presidential edition so we could vote by sending text messages, jejemon style. At the end of the elections, the host (Raymond Gutierrez?) would turn to the judges and ask: Did the Philippines get it right this time?

Are we too starstruck that we truly believe our entertainers are the answer to our national woes? do we j…

ang bilog na hugis itlog (hindi ang itlog na hugis bilog)

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“Kamusta naman ang pagboto?” text ni Rochelle sa akin.

Oh, it was peaceful and hassle-free, I said. In fact, I feel very much energized.

Of course, I didn’t vote. I was at home sleeping, dreaming of something. There are a lot of things that I don’t do as a Filipino citizen. In fact, there are a lot of things that I don’t do as a human being.

“Di ka ba boboto?” reply niya.

“Nakaboto na ako,” sabi ko, “sa impyerno!”

Cue: Thunder and evil laughter.

I was supposed to vote during the last election but when I got to the precinct I wasn’t on the list. I wish I had the inclination to vote but lately I’ve been extra angry at the human race.

Then MJ sent a text message, asking me if I’ve seen ABS-CBN’s hologram so I turn on the TV. Bongga lang talaga. Like a poor man’s CNN. Then Ces Drilon came on asking an old man if he has voted already. The man says he’s been waiting for hours now. “But don’t you get preferential treatment being a senior citizen?” Ces asks. “Hindi pa po ako senior citizen,” …

tuesday

8:17am
Tuesday
May 4

Parang ayokong simulan ang araw. Parang ayokong lumarga ang umaga na parang isang tren na lumilisan mula sa isang nagse-sentimental na istasyon. gusto ko umaga lang. i want to be frozen in this moment. the boyfriend sleeping on the bed, chi chi taking a refuge in the bathroom. me, smoking in front of the computer facing a blank page. kasi alam kong kapag nagsimula na ang tuesday ko may mga responsibilidad na akong dapat harapin. and it makes me sad just thinking of them. pwede bang mag-day dream muna kahit konti at makinig ng "A House is Not a Home" ni Dionne Warwick?

Tuesday
April 27

It's a quiet Tuesday night. I'm in the middle of finishing a script but somehow my mind keeps trailing off somewhere. i even keep forgetting that i have put a freshly lighted cigarette on my ashtray. the boyfriend is sleeping on the bed while chichi is on my feet dreaming of meat and milk (i hope). god, i'm so in love with the puppy. it feels as if she's really…

Call me... Ishmael?

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there is, of course, the irresistible urge to name him after a literary character or give him a name referencing something totally esoteric but at the same time totally dear to me. I've thought of naming him Frodo, a good name that comes from a very good book but i believe a lot of people have already laid claims on tolkien's characters. Naming him after any of the Glass family, on the other hand, would probably be too corny or too obvious. How about Aloysius, Sebastian's teddy bear in Brideshead Revisited? But then, am I saying that I would like to be Sebastian, a legendary dilettante? Medyo pretentious. How about naming him after a favorite filmmaker? Truffaut? Brocka? Eric Rohmer? Puppy fiction? Doggy Allen? Nah. My friend has a dog named DOGlas MacArthur and a pair of love birds named Ferdinand and Imelda (kahit sa simpleng paraan makulong man lang namin sila). Cute no.

After much brain-racking, however, I finally decided on naming him after a word that I learned when…

happy halloween

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nang dumating ako sa opisina ang una kong nakita si basti, naka-black as usual, ginagala gala ang kanyang maharot na chinky eyes. nakita niya si ella sa may copy machine, busing busy na nagpho-photo copy ng minutes ng meeting. dahan dahan itong lumapit, ang kanyang long white point finger naka-dampi sa kanyang pinkish lips, binabalaan ang mga nakapaligid na huwag maging maingay. suot suot niya sa kanyang ulo ang isang headband na may dalawang red na sungay. at just as expected, ito na nga ang ginamit niya upang sunggaban ang malaki at malapad na puwet ng pobreng PA. "Ay puke mong mabaho!" sigaw ni ella habang ang mga papeles ay tumilamsik at nagkalat sa sahig. "putang ina mo basti, leche ka ha!" sabay hampas ng isang malaking folder sa mga braso ni basti na pilit nagpapahabol. para silang mga grade 4 na naghaharutan sa playground. nobody seemed to mind anyway. it's just basti doing one of his hilarious practical jokes.

dumiretso ako sa writer's cubicle at u…