the world is our playground and we will always be home
8:22am. just came from my mother's house. haven't gotten any sleep because falling asleep is one of the things that i find difficult to do ever since i was a kid. the other one is peeing. i lay on the bed listening to up dharma. it's the same song that i keep playing over and over again back when we were still in the old apartment. the same song that i listened to when i first fell in love with the boyfriend. i look up and there he is looming above me, framed by the white ceiling. i tell myself that if he stoops down to kiss me i'm going to get a book and start reading. but he doesnt kiss me so i didn't move. he went to the kitchen and started cleaning up. i tell myself that if he asks me if i want coffee then i'll turn over and shift position. he doesnt say anything or perhaps the music is just too loud. i keep on dreaming. the song ends and i press play again. i look beyond the door and watch the blue sky with the white clouds. it's a beautiful day despite the fact that pagasa has announced that there is a storm coming. the boyfriend enters the room and i tell myself that if he snuggles beside me then ill start typing what is on my mind. he does lay on the bed and so i start typing this. he runs his hands on my back and gives me a massage. i tell myself that if he touches the back of my neck then i'll stop writing and try to sleep. he rubs my shoulders. i wait in anticipation. and i wait. and i wait. until he finally does and i start shutting down.