Showing posts from November, 2009


at around 12 midnight i received a text message that our meeting would be moved to thursday, which was great. i wasn't going to do any thinking tonight anyway. i never was a bibo kid. i always do my work just as my bosses are asking for it. i took the message as a cue to have a cup of coffee while i finish the rest of the book im currently reading. lately ive been feeling extra volatile. i know, i always write in every entry that i'm in the grips of a major emotional breakdown but believe me there are days when i'm happy and every bit satisfied with my life. those are the days when i dont write anything because then i wouldn't have anything interesting to write about --- not that i find misery more fascinating than happiness but when the weather is generally clear i always opt to spend it outside than to stay home and think about how pitiful life is. i guess i'm down mostly because it's november and i always go crazy during my birthday month. the days leading …

In Greenbelt 5 where I started to wonder

i wonder if the Jimmy Choo-clad
patrons of Greenbelt 5
ever thought of starving
kids or

Social injustices that leave
families with burning
hunger and desire

I wonder if they ever wonder
what happens in the
countryside where

farmers toil the land
day in and day out
digging the earth
for food that's never
ever enough

and how about the
kids of Kalimugtong
who trek violent lands
with slippers as thin as
their soles are thick

but i do think they think
about these things from time
to time when the news is
on and when today's paper
is splayed before them

but such thoughts are
too horrible to contemplate
too painful to contain

not when they are entering
the sparkling glass doors
of Greenbelt 5 or dining

in an antiseptic environment
where such thoughts poison
the chilly air

better to shoo them away with
a slight hand as one would do
to an unexpected fruit fly
begging to take a piece
of a delicious tiramisu.

Wala lang. Reaction ko lang after re-reading Emmanuel S. Torres' "Another Invitation to the P…

el fili

"The glory of saving a country cannot be given to one who has contributed to its ruin."

- stated by Father Florentino in Jose Rizal's El Filibusterismo

galing dito ang litrato:

batman was in my building

i was coming down the building when i saw a kid wearing a batman costume climbing up our fire exit. pero hindi, hindi naman siya na-late sa trick or treating. in fact, the curious thing about it is that he seems to have been wearing the costume since sunday (it's thursday already). i thought it was odd. and cute. imagine, araw araw siyang naka-batman costume. lupet di ba? naisip ko tuloy kung magkaka-anak ako siguro magiging kunsintidor din ako sa mga hilig ng anak ko no matter how odd it is. "You want to go to school wearing a nun's outfit? kahit lalaki ka? sure! go ahead!" "what? you like burning down houses because huge flames make you feel warm and fuzzy? no problem, here's a lighter." that or i'll be forever reminding him what a big loser his father is. loser --- no, i mean, father. man, that's a scary word. that's like next to STD and dementia in my list of things to be scared about. (but why on earth will you be scared of being a fath…

the world is our playground and we will always be home

8:22am. just came from my mother's house. haven't gotten any sleep because falling asleep is one of the things that i find difficult to do ever since i was a kid. the other one is peeing. i lay on the bed listening to up dharma. it's the same song that i keep playing over and over again back when we were still in the old apartment. the same song that i listened to when i first fell in love with the boyfriend. i look up and there he is looming above me, framed by the white ceiling. i tell myself that if he stoops down to kiss me i'm going to get a book and start reading. but he doesnt kiss me so i didn't move. he went to the kitchen and started cleaning up. i tell myself that if he asks me if i want coffee then i'll turn over and shift position. he doesnt say anything or perhaps the music is just too loud. i keep on dreaming. the song ends and i press play again. i look beyond the door and watch the blue sky with the white clouds. it's a beautiful day despit…

Because we like boys in cars, boys who buy us drinks in bars

There’s this impossibly cute guy --- ok, several impossibly cute guys --- in my Downelink list of friends that make me wish I’m still single. Not that they would date me but at least I’m a couple of hundred steps closer to reality if I were unattached. What is it about guys that make me wish things: wish that I was taller, smarter, cuter…

The other day while on a tricycle on my way to my mother’s house, I was thinking about sex. I was wondering why I am so obsessed with it. If I’m not doing it then I’m thinking about it (arguably, I think of it more often than I’m having it). But why does sex still seems new to me? Is this a symptom of addiction or is it because I’m doing it with several men? Is it all about conquest or is it all about jacking off? Or is it because, as Claudine (or was it Ate Vi? Have to ask MJ) once said in a movie, the men may have taken my body but no one has bothered to conquer my soul --- heart, siguro yung mas bagay na word. Ang bakla naman ng last statement na …