kwentong wala lang


Eksena: Sa labas ng isang liblib na bahay, nakaupo ang isang matanda at isang binata nag-iinuman. Gin ang kanilang tinitira.

No matter what you do, how you do it, you'll going to have a disastrous night so I seriously suggest that even now as we speak that you kill yourself.

What?

Things will go from bad to worse.

Murphy's Law?

No, it's much worse than that. Basta you're going to have a horrible night so I suggest that you kill yourself now.

Are you serious? You go kill yourself.

I'm afraid I'm very serious.

Sa sobrang sakit ng mararanasan ko mamaya mas maigi na lang na patayin ko ang sarili ko ngayon?

That is correct.

E kung pinatay ko ang sarili ko ngayon e di hindi na ako nakabawi. Komedyante ka talaga. Haven't you heard of the term gulong ng palad.

Don't be stupid. The wheel of fortune will never turn for you. Kaya eto ang kutsilyo. Consider this as my Christmas gift. Kung papatayin mo ang sarili mo ngayon you will save yourself a lot of pain and time. Mamaya gugustuhin mo nang patayin ang sarili mo. Magsu-suffer ka pa. Di ba mas maganda kung mamatay kang masaya?

And what? Deprive myself of all the fun.

You stupid humans.

Anyway, sabi naman ni Nietzsche: What does not kill me makes me stronger.

Will it? Or will it reduce you to a weeping retard.

I'll take my chances.

That's the spirit. Binabalaan lang kita.

Gaano ba ka-bad? Will I be hit by a car and be dragged through Edsa and be thrown out of the flyover? Will I end up in a smelly dump with broken bones and be left with a single eye? Sayang naman ang ka-gwapuhan ko.

All I can say is at the end of the night you will end up weeping in the rain.

Pa-mysterious mysterious ka pa dyan. Sabihin mo na. Old man.

Show some respect. Boy

Bad trip. Ang arte!

Ganyan talaga ang buhay.

Unpredictable.

Hindi. Predictable. Sasaya ka. Malulungkot ka. Mai-in love. Mafa-fall out of love. Maa-arouse. Titigasan. Lalabasan. Gigising. Kakain. Tatae. It's just one long boring procession to our grave. But, of course, that's just the Cliff notes version.

Nabasa ko na yan. Kay Jack Keroack. We wake up. We eat. We shit. We fuck. We die. So don't be annoying.

Annoying ba kamo? So you are annoyed right now. Sabi ko sayo eh. Simula pa lang yan.

Puta ka! (tatawa ang lalaki)

Words. Makapangyarihan nga talaga ang words. Especially ang mga mura. Mas powerful nga naman ito kesa sa salitang na "I love you." Pwede pa yun dayain eh. Emotionally. Pwede kang mag-I love you na hindi mo naman mini-mean... I love you (sa binata na ngingisi lang) Pero ang mura, it serves its purpose very well. You mean it when you say it.

Huh, duh.

Eto ang kutsilyo. Patayin mo na ang sarili mo. Sige na. Do yourself a favor.

Baka ikaw ang patayin ko dyan.

Malay mo, that's the case. You will kill me before the sun rises and immediately a strong feeling of regret will envelope you and you will end up in Muntinlupa where you will experience terrible, terrible things that you will wish you have killed yourself earlier.

Terrible things like?

Um, like eating shit for example. Licking the shit out of a filthy, filthy toilet bowl. Or being raped with a broken bottle by a sadistic closeted inmate who once dreamed of being a beauty queen but instead chose to conform to his violent surroundings and became a hoodlum.

Bakit hindi na lang siya nag-lipstick at nagsuot ng tutu kahit mukha siyang bakulaw e di sana naging masaya siya sa buhay... di ba?

Hindi.

Bakit? Hindi ba cause and effect lang yan. In life we are presented with different possibilities. Each road leads you to a different destination.

But what if all those roads lead to just one destination.

Hell?

Pwede. Paano kung predisposed na tayo sa simula pa lang na isang road lang ang tatahakin natin no matter what? Or worse, paano kung iba't ibang roads ang pinasukan mo pero you still end up in a place where you don't want to end up in.

Di ba may studies na ganyan. That our genes say something about our future.

I think I read that article a few years ago.

So in the future we will be able to predict our future.

I'm not sure that's exactly how it goes.

Parang Minority Report, di ba?

Hindi naman ganun. Baka siguro kung nasa genes mo na magiging psycho killer ka ngayon pa lang pinapa-abort ka na.

Is that why you are telling me to kill myself? Because I will cause harm to others in the very near future.

To others and to yourself.

But I haven't have the slightest inclination for murder. Ni ipis nga lang hindi ko na mapatay eh (to wink at the audience)

You never know.

Hindi ba kahit sa Minority Report, nagkaroon ng second chance si Tom Cruise?

I wouldn't know. Di ko pinanood yun eh. Kalokohan lang yun.

Pero may connect siya sa pinaguusapan natin ngayon. You should've done your research.

Well, I did. I read Oedipus.

Tumawa ang lalaki.

That can't be possible. You are not my father. Ang pangit pangit mo!

(medyo na-offend sa sinabi ng lalaki) No, I'm certainly not your father. Wala akong anak na murderer.

Sabi ko sa'yo eh. Dapat Ray Bradbury na lang ang binasa mo o kaya nanood ka na lang ng Star Wars. Me pa-classical classical greek ka pa diyan.

Pareho lang tayong pretensyoso.

Pretend mo ang mukha mo.

Nabasa mo na ba ang Oedipus?

Do you really think I'm that stupid?

The old man shrugs his shoulders

Ok, some people think it's a detective story where Oepidus searches for the murderer of the King of Thebes. But some think it's a foundling story, kwento ng isang lalaking hinahanap ang kanyang totoong identity. Of course the discovery only leads Oedipus to tragedy.

That's right. Mukhang nabasa mo yung introduction.

Well, at least I read something.

Tingnan mo si Oedipus. The king knew his son was going to murder him and he did all he can to prevent it from happening. Hindi ba ibang road rin ang tinahak niya pero sa huli si Oedipus pa rin ang pumatay sa kanya.

So no matter what I'm going to end up a murderer and suffer?

Yes, basically if you try to see the world through Greek drama you will discover the wonders of Fate. Now, Fate's real purpose is to show us how puny we are. How helpless we are against the ---

Excuse me old man but please spare me the lecture. Inaantok lang ako eh. Personally, I don't believe in Fate. We basically cause the harm to ourselves. Now, kung alam natin na mangyayari ay mangyayari e di na-prevent natin. Kaya dapat parating well-researched at ang importante may plan B.

You think like an American.

Well, yes we can!

Personally, I prefer the Pinoy way of looking at life. That if you do enough good in life then life will reward you with good things.

Sentimental bullshit.

Bullshit na kung bullshit pero that's the way I was brought up.

If I think like an American and you think like a Pinoy, why the hell then are we talking about Greek tragedy.

As if I had to point out the obvious. In this story, you are Oedipus and I am your father. By the end of the night, you will hack me to death. That's the truth!

Is that so? Huh. Ako? Papatayin ka.

I believe you are going to use a knife.

Hindi makakapagsalita ang binata.

Now, how's that knife looks to you.

Pero hula lang siya di ba?

What I speak of is the truth.

Pero bakit ko papatayin ang sarili ko. E di I'll just walk away.

You can't. Once you step out of the house you will decide that the best way to end the night is to kill me. Your old man (Ngingisi ang matanda sa last statement niya)

In effect, you are telling me that by committing suicide I'm doing myself a great service?

Yes. From this night on, you will have nothing in life but sadness, pain and great discomfort. You will never know happiness and you will never find anything that's remotely as comforting as love. From this night on, your life will be a living hell.

Ilalagay muli ng matanda ang kutsilyo sa lamesa.

Teka, teka, teka. You're fucking with my mind, old man. If I really will murder you at the end of the night, tulad ng sinabi mo, baka naman gusto mo lang akong mamatay. Baka naman, ikaw ang papatay sa akin?

Iaangat ni matanda ang kanyang sleeves at ipapakita sa binata ang tattoo sa kanyang braso.

5/24/09. Nakikita mo ito?

That's today right?

When I was old enough to get a tattoo, I decided to put this on my arm so I'll forever be reminded of this day. I knew you were my murderer when I saw you at the gate.

Lakas din ng tama mo ano?

Hindi ako nagbibiro. I'm giving you a chance to bail out of a terrible future.

Kukunin ng binata ang kutsilyo at ibabato sa sahig.

You're messing with my head is what you are doing. Man, magpacheck up ka na. Maluwang na yang turnilyo sa ulo mo.

Hindi sasagot ang matanda.

Sorry to disappoint you but that ain't happening because I'm outta here. Salamat na lang sa iyong hula. I'm heading home.

Tatayo na ang lalaki at magsisimulang lumakad palayo. Aayusin naman ng matandang lalaki ang table na pinag-inuman nila at pupulutin ang kutsilyo.

Teka lang, kung alam mong papatayin kita bakit hindi mo na lang ako sinaksak kaagad?

Well, I've thought about that and calculated the possibilities. But I realized I would have more chance of surviving if I tricked you into killing yourself.

Matatawa ang binata.

That. Was. A pretty fucking stupid idea. Sino namang tanga ang papayag na magpakamatay just because you said they were going to have a terrible night? You should've thought of Plan B.

No, that was my Plan B.

Muling tumawa ang lalaki at nagsimulang lumakad palayo.

Nakahinga na ng maluwag ang matanda at dali daling pinasok ang mga gamit sa kanyang bahay. Kinandado niya ng mabuti ang pinatuan at chinek kung safe na pati ang mga bintana.

He was about to go upstairs when he heard noises on the roof. It was as if nails were being dropped into his house. Just as expected, rain has begun to fall. Biglang kinabahan ang matanda at dali-daling pumunta sa kusina para kunin ang kutsilyong kani-kanina lang ay hawak hawak niya. Pero just as expected naunahan na siya.

It's too late old man, sabi ng binata.

Paano ka naka-pasok?

Kailangan ko pa ba i-explain yan.

Hindi kumibo ang matanda.

Alam mo na siguro kung papaano ka mamatay?

All in all 16 stabs at the chest, stomach and throat at 10 at the back.

Gagawin ko kaya yun o hindi? Well, you just have to find out.

Alam mo yung tungkol sa Muntinlupa na sinabi ko sayo kanina? Totoo yun. Mangyayari sa'yo yun. Shitty existence is what you are going to have.

Alam ko. Kaya nga nung sinagest mong magpakamatay na lang ako naisip ko rin yun. Pero I guess I'm too much an animal to consider committing suicide. May nabalitaan ka na bang chonggong nagpakamatay? May pusa na bang tumalon sa building para kilitin ang kanyang buhay? Wala di ba? I guess I'm not that smart enough.

Are men just naturally hopeful?

Siguro. I don't know.

Why don't you just run away? Hindi kita ire-report. Ipapangako ko. Kakalimutan ko itong pangyayaring ito. Besides wala ka namang motivation. Kailangan mo ng motivation.

My motivation? Fate. Hanggang nabubuhay ka you will always have the desire to kill me because you think I'm going to kill you. Naisip ko lang yan kanina.

Habang paalis ka?

That's right old man.

Thought so... E di ako naman ang magpapakalayo tulad ng gusto mong gawin kanina. Pupunta akong Cebu. O kaya maga-abroad ako. Magka-Canada. Dubai. Kahit saan man.

Old man, it's obvious that you've been doing that for years and yet here I am.

Matatawa sa sarili ang binata.

Bakit nga ba nagpunta pa ako dito para magpahula? I don't know. I really don't know. Kaya pala mukhang inatake ka sa puso nang makita mo ako kanina. Alam mo hindi ka magaling na manghuhula kahit sinabi nilang ikaw ang pinaka-the best. Siempre ang cardinal rule is that never tell your clients the bad things. Only the good things. E di sana hindi ako nagka-idea.

Party pooper ako eh. Besides, you would've done it kahit hindi ko sinabi sayo.

What makes you sure about that?

I don't know. I just was.

You should've killed me first.

It wasn't in my nature.

Still, don't you think its a crime to tell the people the worst things that will happen to them? Don't you think it's a little bit more merciful if you don't tell them anything at all?

Nervous laughter from the old man

Tell me about it. I knew you were going to kill me since I was 5 years old. For 55 years I've been waiting for this terrible moment. Alam kong naging mas maligaya ako kung hindi ko na lang alam.

The funny thing is, between the two of us, it was you who was having a bad night. Things have gone from bad to worse for you...

Well, yes, you are right. Now, I know that I have basically doomed myself to ----

Tsuk!

End



ps, galing dito ang imahe: http://www.tattoosymbol.com/tarot/large/rw_13.jpg

Comments

Ate Sienna said…
i can't seem to put my finger in how to describe this... "profound" ba? hindi eh... paano ba? ano nga ba ang tawag? "surreal"?

hayyy.. kakaloka! basta, "teasing" sya.
bwisit! said…
hehehe basta ang alam ko lang sinulat ko yan ng supermegasaoa ako sa bad trip dahil pinaglalaruan na naman ako ng tadhana. mercury retrogade na naman daw pero bakit parang ako lang ang affected? hmmm...

ps. ako rin type ko rin yung leggings... especially sa boys hehehe

Popular posts from this blog

sop tips (o kung papaano huwag matakot makipagtalik sa telepono)

para sa masa (or why the eraserheads, even if they are still together, can't possibly sing "toyang" over and over again)

FEAR AND LOATHING IN SAGADA