yes or no direk?


"directing a movie is a very overrated job. we all know it. you just have to say yes or no. what else do you do? nothing. 'maestro, should this be in red?' yes. green?'no. more extras? yes. 'more lipstick?' no. yes, no. yes, no. that's directing." - dame judy dench from rob marshall's new movie, nine


This made me think. What would happen if I were directing my first feature. "Direk, tita Hilda is asking if she should deliver her lines softly or should she inject a little more force into it? She's also asking if it's ok that we don't say the lines at all and just let her eyes do all the talking?"

"What's the scene again?"

"She's cooking rice while barking some instructions to her kid to buy toyo at patis."

"Hmmm..."

"What would it be, direk?"

"Wait..."

"Direk, the crew is waiting."

"Hmmm... yes?"

"Yes?"

"Hm... maybe no."

"No?"

"Well, maybe… Maybe?"

"It's up to you."

"Up. To. Me. Hmmm. What would it be?"

"I don't know. You're the director."

"Can I think about it?"

"You can't. It's already 4 in the morning. We just need a yes or a no."

"Can I call a friend?"

"No. There’s no signal."

"No signal… Hmmm...”

"Yes or no?"

"Yes or no? Wait, Yes? Yes! It's a definite yes!"

"Ok thank you direk."

"Ay wait. No na lang pala. Is that ok with her?"

"I'll tell her."

"No, no, yes. I've made up my mind. It's a yes..."

"Are you sure?"

"No. Well, maybe. Yes?"

The exasperated assistant turns her back on me and shouts: PAAAAAAAKAP! PAAAAAAKAP!"

Comments

Ate Sienna said…
kung si mother and produ mo, makukunsumi yun.

"Pakap na naman?!?!? PAKAP NA NAMAN?!?!?!? Bak Chee Tsee! San chinelas ko, Meme?? Bato ko yan sya! Pati ashtray bato ko sya! Nang Yeung! Ubos na budget ko kanya pelikula! Akina cellphone ko, Roselle! Tama ko sya cell phone ko!!! Thieu!!!!!

Father, kuha mo pelikula Snooky at Gabby bodega, yun na lang labas natin filmfest! Saw hai! Pu-Ta-I-Na!!!!!"

hehehehe
bwisit! said…
Hahahahahaha! Malamang ang dami ko nang bukol, mahina pa naman ang reflexes ko hahahahaha!

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