dapat ba merry ang christmas dahil gay ka?


Nang napansin ko na kinakarir ni boyfriend ang pagluluto ng noche buena na-guilty ako. After all, kaninang hapon pa kami sa bahay ng nanay ko nagpe-prepare. In fact, kami pa ang nag-grocery, este siya lang pala. Since I so hate groceries, I just parked myself in Burger King and hungrily consumed the free Wi-Fi while he obligingly shopped alone. Nakapag-order na kami ng chicken at nakapag-luto ng isang tofu dish for dinner. Ngayon naman ay sinisimulan na namin ang pasta dish at pomodoro. Slightly na-imbey nga ako dahil ilang carrots, onions at garlic ang tinadtad ko ng pinong-pino. Kitchen diva, definitely I am not. Dumating na ang kaibigan naming si Tonyo at napanood ko na halos lahat ng scandal (mula Dumaguete hanggang Visayas, mula Baste hanggang UST)sa kanyang selfon nasa kusina pa rin si boyfriend nagluluto. I thought it was unfair that it was just us who were slaving for our Noche Buena so I went to my brother (who arrived late by the way) and told him that since we've been such kitchenistas he should at least do us the favor of washing the dishes. For some reason, this set him off big time. Nang kumakain na kami panay na ang dabog niya. Siempre walang kaalam-alam ang nanay ko, especially my boyfriend who thought that he was the one who has pissed him off. Ako deadma. Kung ayaw niyang mag-hugas ng pinggan eh di wag. Sana sinabi na lang niya na ayoko, nakaka-degrade kasi isang akong FAMAS nominated cinematographer o kaya ayoko pagod na pagod ako at super stressed ako ngayong araw na ito. Or kahit simpleng hindi dahil ayoko lang. Pwede naman yun. Ako nga lang ang magdadabog pero at least naging honest siya at hindi naginarte hindi ba? Pero since ayun na nga ang nangyari eh hindi ko na problema ang alta-presyon niya. Nag-french exit na lang kami ng boyfriend ko from my mother's house.

Honestly, dedma lang talaga ako. I'm so over picking fights with him. Trenta na ako. Ang dami ko nang pinu-problema maliban sa paghuhugas ng pinggan. But the thing is, this has, in some way, set off my boyfriend. Matagal na kasi siyang may angas sa kapatid ko kaya pagdating namin sa apartment siya naman ang naglitanya. Ang daming angst noh? And to top it off, nawawala pa yung socket ng coffeemaker namin kaya hindi ako makapag-kape ng matino habang sinusulat ko ito. Pero dahil uber sa ka-bwisitan ang nagdaang taon hindi na ako nakaramdam ng kung ano pa man. Gusto ko rin naman nang umuwi dahil busog na busog na ako. And I hate Christmas anyway. It's such a senti season and I'm so anti-senti. The important thing is I have already survived probably some of the most challenging times of my young life and I have already been to church (I never go to church on my own volition) to thank whoever is out there controlling the cosmos and the universe.

Kanina-kanina lang nagsimula nang tumunog ang selfon ko. Wala talaga sana akong ite-text kahit isa ngayong taon pero since nagsisidatingan na sila nag-isip na rin ako ng aking christmas message. Siguro isa sa pinaka-paborito kong message na na-receive ko (aside from the one telling me that she saw a major celebrity along with the brother of her TV and movie love partner in a church in greenhills) ay galing sa isang dati kong ka-officemate. Sabi ng text message niya: "May this season of joy and love be with you and your family. Happy holidays!" Generic lang di ba pero tumambling lang ako sa sumunod na mensahe. "From ______, Empress Maruja!" Winnur! Ang reply ko na lang: "I hate Christmas! It's such a senti season! But since we're fab and already gay to begin with sige na nga magpakasaya na lang rin tayo!" To which he said, "Kurak! Dapat laging happy ending ang drama!"

I think I now know how this year would end. It's not exactly a happy one but at least it's something that I am more than happy to have. Dec. 25, 2008 (12:39am)

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