how about putting this instead?
i'm a pessimistic self-confessed loser who is struggling to stay afloat now that everything is in recession. i constantly complain about my day, which is always ruined by pesky sales clerks, idiotic taxi drivers and despicable mall security guards. during times of great crisis, i look for answers in books and films (as i seem to get no comfort from friends and family). Scribbles and vandals at the back of bus seats and comfort room walls are some of my sources of amusement. before i die, i promise to call up one of these trashy guys (and that's you hottiedude with a 7 inch cock so get ready haha!). i am happiest when i have two or three appointments in a day. it makes me feel wanted and loved. my greatest dream is to receive an Oscar award for directing so i could go up on the stage and say: "So this is what it feels like to win Best Actress." whenever i am in a group i do my best to remain inconspicuous. i always portray myself as an idiot-savant but deep, deep down i think i am a borderline genius.