lab letters

march 1, 2007
hey honey,

its about six in the evening. i have nothing to do and nothing to fear (the lolahs in dah house are nowhere in sight) so here i am in an adjacent building blogging my head off.

but before i proceed let me warn you that im feeling kind of maudlin tonight so prepare to be slathered in pure stinky, sticky sentimental drivel. anyway, i realized last night that you might just be getting tired of me. after all, if you think about it, its like we are already living together in one house. tapos, i drag you pa to my all night editing sessions. i know that sometimes you want to do things with other people or that at least you want to be rid of my presence for just a couple of hours. i want to apologize. to paraphrase up dharma down, pasensya ka ikaw ang natipuhan koh. im still not over that initial wave of obsession that momentarily blind people who are deeply in love for the first time. honey, what im saying is, i wouldnt want to hang out with anyone other than you. well, at least for a few months sana hehehe. i hope this will not start another fight between us. as ive said, im just being maudlin so please forgive me. anyways, see you later. love you.

mario


feb. 10
friday
xavierville ave

its almost four in the morning. good thing i didnt ask you to wait for me. if i did i would probably never hear the end of it. im done with the first vtr but i still have to do another one. no thanks to weng (my brilliant officemate-boxing mate) who suggested that i be a boyscout for a change and write the freaking script before our headwriter asks me to do it. after all, im officially the merch department since monday. so here i am slaving for a job that barely pays when i should be at home fooling around with you in our little (but comfortable) bed. im actually a bit hungry but i keep telling myself not to eat because you mentioned that you are preparing food for us for tomorrow. of course i will eat your marinated (something --- you failed to mention in your message what exactly you are marinating). but of course, i cant afford to eat in great abandon, sayang naman yung binabayad ko sa elorde.

anyway, i was looking at some of my friends' friendster account when suddenly i became aware of your absence. i was seized with the sudden need to see you. i took out my cellphone and looked at our pictures. we are an odd but happy couple, arent we? i love the photo that i took last night, the one where i used an eyeliner to give you groucho marx-like eyebrows and a ridiculous mustache. you said you look like lou veloso. di naman, mas lamang ka naman ng ilang paligo sa kanya. of course you are cuter than him. strangely enough, every time i look at that picture i feel a sudden kick in my gut. the kind of strange sensation that you feel when you realize that you are actually in love. you look so happy in the photo and knowing that you are happy makes me feel really really nice.

i also love the photo where you are in the kitchen wearing only your skimpy briefs. you just came from the bathroom and you look like you just sleepwalked to the kitchen. i love that photo because you appear so comfortable that it seems as if we have been living together for a very long time. believe or not, i couldnt see myself being with someone else (kahit na may six-pack pa sila at kamukha pa nila si sam milby!). to paraphrase vilma santos: para kong pinagpalit ang mercedes benz sa toyota kung mangyari yun. of course, honey, you are a mercedez benz in sea of toyota corollas. you are a gabriel garcia marquez in a shelf filled with isabela allendes (that wannabe!). you are a nora aunor in a class populated with kris aquinos. you are a merlot, a mondavie in a case filled with maria sangrias (hahaha). the point is... the point is... oh well, you get the drift. the point is, i think the world of you honey. the point is, i should stop writing you letters such as this one as it only reinforces the fact that deep down i am just one lovestruck adult who never really outgrew his purile self. anyway, i love you. see you tomorrow.

mario


hey honey,

remember how you told me early this morning while sitting in front of the bathroom watching me take a bath that you might be the reason i am perpetually late? well, you are honey and i love it. i mean, what better way to wake up than to my lover's lips gliding across my barely clothed body. you send me to sleep with your warm embrace and you wake me up with a kiss, how on earth can i resist that? because of you, i always end up dazed a few hours after we separate. i was dazed this morning as i sat on the steps leading to the audience gallery watching my colleagues run like headless chickens across the studio. i very much like to leave this job sooner rather than later...

anyways, see tomorrow. love you

mario


january 8, 2007
monday
xavierville

hey hon,

i am writing this while waiting for our voice talent to send my material over the internet. i just texted you a few hours ago, asking you if you need anything (you have not replied yet). if truth be told, i was kind of hoping that you ask me to come over to wherever you are staying and bring something for you. ive realized that sometimes it feels nice to be needed.

last night, i felt a bit helpless while you slept beside me, sick and shivering. i couldnt believe that i dont have even a single medicine in the apartment. it was strange, though, taking care of someone. it was both strange and exhilarating. but i think i can get used to it.

ill be working late in the next couple of days and im sure you will be very busy this week. hindi ko alam kung kaya nating magkita even for a few hours but i am missing you already. anyway, i cant wait for summer. gusto na kitang solohin. please take care of your health. promise, ill no longer smoke in the room.

love,

mario


may 5, 2am
tape office, katipunan

hey you,

really sorry i was moping tonight. i dont know if its my diet (i havent eaten any meat since last week), my weight (i could see my tummy slowly bulging, which is very irritating), the lack of alcohol in my system (the last time i had beer was last
saturday), my work (very mechanical and uncreative), my skin (pimples are sprouting all over my face once again!), my life (directionless and unproductive), or the state of my wallet (well, i dont have a wallet, which is only appropriate since ive
been broke forever). i just feel so out of sorts tonight. maybe if i didnt have to go back to the office (where i am now typing this at 2am!) i would have been a lot cheerful. buti na lang din pala i went back because i just realized i have a dozen
deadlines for tomorrow.

i guess on the plus side, you agreed to meet with me tonight. although i must say you really need to get a haircut. on saturday perhaps? anyway, your birthday's coming up. we should get really smashed to celebrate your birthday. as in we should get blind drunk. the kind where we are already puking our entrails on the pavement. or, better yet, we could go to some place where we could fuck our heads off until we run dry of cum and our asses bleed from so much use (sorry, im all alone here in the office and i suddenly realized how horny i am). what do you think?

i dont know. im just bored and lonely and tired. i need to get laid. i know what you are going to say: "not again?" i know im a horn dog. but will you shower with me again? i should get an apartment so i could make you my sex slave. that way, the first thing and the last thing i see is you on my bed, smiling like you always do when we are together. i can't promise though that i wouldnt be a bitch and that i would stop moping around like what i did tonight. but on the plus side, you will always be there to cheer me up.

bored and horny (a very lethal combination, if i may say so),

mario

hello,

i was right in saying that i will be missing you. corny man ito sabihin pero here it is: i miss you already. i actually didnt expect myself to feel this way. kasi i know that i am just one of the many men in your ever prolific sex life. alam ko na you
are still young and you still long for adventure, for new experiences, new tastes, new people, new men. i know perfectly well na hindi ka pa handa magpatali.
i just hope that you enjoyed your stay in my house just as i enjoyed having you there. kahit na medyo nadyahe tayo dahil my brother and his gang made an appearance. kanina ko lang na-realize how fun the three short days were.

the truth is, the best part for me was when we were reading danton remoto and ramon sunico poems and passages from tony perez's novel. magbasahan ba daw tayo ng tula? di ba kakaibang foreplay yun? i thought it was so romantic of us to just lay on the bed and read some gay poems. in fact, i could still feel you beside me, enunciating
the words and phrases. i could still feel your hot breath crawling around my ear and neck. i could still feel your day-old stubble grazing against my cheeks, sending electric chills down my body...

sorry im just rambling. i know this all seems stupid sa yo. after all, many men have
professed undying love to you di ba? perhaps, you have forgotten everything that has happened in the last few days dahil you are already experiencing your next high.
all i can say is, after spending sometime with you, life at the office seems boring and banal. i've realized that no matter how exciting and high profile your job is, it doesnt compare to the excitement and high that you feel when you are with someone you actually like.

i hope to see you soon.

mario

Comments

rochelle said…
maybe you're a really great writer with pulitzer prize- potential or maybe you're really just in love. well, we can all bet it's NOT the first one ;-)

these letters, anal sex references and all, are really moving, i'm actually wondering if you are the mario i've known these past 7 years—you know, the one with no heart! bwahahaha!
bwisit! said…
hahaha! of course, i have a biiiiiig, um, heart hahaha! ang dami kayang hombre na pinagbigyan ko ng mga letters na ito! hahaha!

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