Showing posts from September, 2008


I just had a terrible day so when a dear friend asked me to have coffee I readily agreed. I was coming from an exhausting shoot and I had a mother load of angas. As soon as she arrived, I began whining. My life is a mess, I told her. I feel untalented and I truly don’t know where my life is headed. After complaining for about fifteen minutes I paused and drew a breath during which she took the opportunity to start off on a new subject. No consolatory remarks. No “I know your life sucks but your life will be better in no time”. There I was having a moment and the poor girl couldn’t help but steal the spotlight away from me. It ticked me because it was something that I never did whenever she was complaining about her pitiful life. I didn’t want to feel worser than I already do so I just went with her. I sat there smoking stick after stick after stick and wondered where my support group go.

When I arrived at the apartment the boyfriend greeted me with a wide smile. He was like a puppy wi…

saturday night, sunday morning

i was hoping my friend and i would go out last night but when after six o'clock she hasnt sent any text messages i realized that i have been dumped. i was then having coffee with weng and the gang, thinking of ways to get more raket. we're thinking of forming a small multi-media company and one of our non-negotiables is that we would never do a pro-bono project. (how noble of us, noh? hahaha)

"Dapat parating may MTB?" said Bochee.

"What's an MTB?" asked Weng.

Magandang Tanghali Bayan? I thought.

"Money to burn," he said.


After the meeting, Bam and I plotted our night. He was bored and I was dumped so we asked another gay friend, Michael, if he wants to go drinking with us. While waiting for Michael's social calendar to clear up, we went to timog for dinner whereby we bumped into another friend who, apparently, is on a date with his secret lover (?).

"I think that's his boyfriend," i told bam.

"But doesn't he h…

ang aking arrive. bow.

kanina depress-depressan ako nang biglang naka-tanggap ako ng isang bonggang bonggang text message mula sa smart: toot-toot toot-toot!

"FREE Swerte Horoscope: Napansin mo ba kung pano siya tumingin sayo? Mahal ka na niya, it's obvious! Well, what can you expect? Mahirap dedmahin ang arrive mo e!"

Anak ng putah! Would you look at that?! Kaya nga loyal ako sa smart eh. bigla tuloy ako napatingin sa paligid ko. may-i-search for that cutilious hombre na nagba-bask sa yellowish glow ng aking bonggang-bonggang arrive! eh, kaso nasa balay ako, nag-iisang nagda-dramarama. siempre ang nakita ko lang ang ipis na pagewang-gewang sa aming sahig.


ang swerte ko naman. kung kelan pa bonggang bongga ang aking arrive (sabi ng smart communications) wala pang mga witnesses. isang lecheng ipis lang. kaya sa aking ka-bwisitan, gumetching nalang ako ng baygon at inisprayan ng aking bonggang bonggang arrive ang cockroach chenes. tsuk, tsugi ang creature. at habang nanginginig siya sa sa…

literary outlaw

"i mean throw out all excess baggage: anxiety, desire of approval, fear of authority, etc. Strip you psyche to the bare bones of spontaneous process and give yourself one change in a thousand to make the Pass."

- William S. Burroughs


sa sobrang sikip ng suot ko ngayon halos di na ako makahinga. regalo ng boyfriend ko ang tshirt na suot ko ngayon. nang una ko siyang makita (yung t-shirt, di yung boyfriend) sabi ko: ano 'ko puta? so ngayon, nagpuputa ako dito sa mall wearing a ridiculously tight shirt. huli akong nagsuot ng masakip ng tshirt nuong nineteen kopong kopong pa. binigyan ako ng isa kong ininterview ng t-shert, pang-bading na merong nakalagay sa dibdib na "boytoy". wala na ito sa kloseta ko. inenok siguro ng nanay ko dahil hindi na raw ako boy at mas lalong di daw ako isang toy (hay, kung alam lang niya...). ayun, ending, ang pamangkin ko 7 years old ang nagsuot ng t-shert. in fairness, parang wholesome tuloy ang effect ang damit pero parang... may mali.