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Showing posts from August, 2008

winner

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“Here’s your question: If you are stranded in an island, how did you get there?”

“By plane, of course!” - TY Girls


Charliebebs’s T.Y. Girls is probably one of the most hilarious movies to come out in recent Philippine movie history. From the moment the first contesera comes out to introduce him self (sample: “I can never be your sister. I can never be your mother. But for all we know, I am you long lost father.”) down to its last few frames, it is filled with hilarity.

The movie is about five gay guys (t.y. girls all of them) who jump from one gay beauty pageant to another in the hopes of getting that elusive crown. It’s a road movie in the manner of Priscilla Queen of the Desert and To Wong Foo but, if I may offer my biased opinion, much funnier. I thought the director perfectly captured the carnivalesque atmosphere that surrounds gay beauty pageants: from the rowdy backstage cat fights to the grotesque make-up and hideous gowns. Its pure kitsch. But since the movie is so tongue-in-c…

inuman

SA ISANG INUMAN SA MAY CUBAO

lalaki 1: 'pre ano show mo ngayon?

lalaki 2: yun nga pre, yung sinabi ko sayo.

na corner mo na pre ang lahat nang pinaka-baduy na progrma sa telebisyon! pare masang masa ka na ngayon ah!

olats pare kailangan eh

dun ka pa rin ba?

oo no permanent address pa rin

gago tumatanda ka na!

e anong magagawa ko e sa ganun eh. paso mo kaya ako sa raket mo!

kung pwede lang e di pinasok ko na kayong lahat. gusto mo pati si mang jerry sali na rin natin eh.

Ulol! lupit nun pre si manong jerry rumaraket din. raketistang nagtitinda ng isoy! lupit!

gawa na lang kaya tayo ng sitcom pre. sawa na ako sa kantahan at sayawan eh.

aysus! pre di pa uso mp3 yan na ang sinasabi mo.

'de pre seriously. why not di ba?

pasok mo na lang kaya ako sa show mo.

anak ng puta, para kang si sheila sa alinbangbang ang kulet!

pare for your information di na alibangbang yun. bangbangali na.

babangali. alibangbang. bagu-bagohin man ang pangalan mga lumang kepyas pa rin ang nandun.

imagine mo, pre, grade 6 pa…

what's the frequency kenneth?

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"Do we prefer (the unstated question runs) the miserable creator or the contented non-creator?"

- from the Diaries of Kenneth Tynan, theater critic and writer

when i grow up

I'm done wishing for anything because, as the Pussycat Dolls kept reminding me over the radio, "be careful of what you wish for because you just might get it, you just might get it!" When i was growing up, I, too, wished that I would have boobies, este, groupies pala.

I don't have a groupie but I do have man-boobs (haha!).

weird

my chest hurts. my face feels like an old baseball glove. i can't seem to think of good ideas. and i miss my cigarettes. it has been a very weird week.

stuffed and confused

i've been having a weird day. i feel weird and sluggish and somewhat angry. must be all the rice and adobo that i ate during dinner. or the coke that i drank. but then i have been this way ever since i woke up this morning. and to think that i had 9 solid hours of sleep. i remember going home at around three last night after watching X-Files and having coffee with rochelle. i was so sleepy that i fell into deep sleep minutes after i took off my boxers. all throughout the day i've been trying to get out of this funk because i still have to write something for tomorrow's work.

just minutes ago, while i was surfing the net, a man peered into my window and asked me to come and sleep with him. it was weird. i think he called me mark, which made me wonder if i've already met him online. in guys4men perhaps? he peered into the window and asked me — i think that what he was asking me to do — to show him my penis (i had no shirt on but was wearing board shorts). "Patingin …

jackpot!

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I'm currently reading two wonderful books — Jane Shapiro's The Dangerous Husband and David Ebershoff's short story collection, The Rose City. But since I no longer attach myself psychologically and emotionally to the books that I read (I'm so over falling in love with characters and authors born way before my grandparents were conceived) I'm not, to paraphrase Holden Caufield, itching to dial up these authors' numbers.

But I'm having a wonderful time reading them nonetheless. In fact, I just read Ebershoff's short story, Regime. It's about an overweight boy who forces himself not to eat. "The third day of self-starvation is the most beautiful day," Ebershoff wrote. "It is when I believe, at lunch hour, in the shade of a black oak, the brick patio cold beneath my thinning ass: None of you can do what I can, and all of you will like me because of it."

At first I thought it would be about anorexia. How banal would that be, right? Of…

wala lang

Sneaked out of the house at around five in the morning. i hurriedly put on my sneakers without even wearing my socks. i was afraid my mother would catch me sneaking out. if she asked me where i was going i wouldn't be able to come up with a good excuse. And God, i really need to get laid that morning.

A few minutes later, I met Jake, a rather ok looking guy. I must say that I was a little bit disappointed and I wondered how on earth would i be able to sustain a hard on when we are finally in bed.

We went inside his house. He was alone. It was a little dark inside, the corners covered in 6am shadows. I sat on the couch and took off my shoes. He went to his computer and turned the music on.

"Are we going to do it here?" I asked.

He got up and led me to his room, which was rather messy. Jake sleeps on the floor, which led me to suspect that he might be a houseboy. But he didn't talk like one. He told me that he works in a call center. They all work in a call center. Som…

mangga!

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dreaming in fuschia

nasa ospital ang isang mag-anak. kakamatay lang nung tatay pero dahil sa tagal na nilang nasa ospital wa react ang pamilya nang i-announce na dedbol na ang papa.

walk walk home ang anak nilang binata sa mall. tuwing napapadaan siya sa mga boutiques (mga karimadon, mga ganung level) bigla na lang siyang nagi-imagine ng mga production numbers suot-suot ang mga cheapipay pero girl na girl na damit. tulad nang sumasayaw sa kahabaan ng mall sa tugtog na disco, mga ganung chenes. napapatitig na lang ang mga serbidora sa kanya. "ano po yun, sir?"

sa ending, suot suot na niya ang isang red cocktail dress habang kasama ang iba pang mga bading sa labas ng isang hotel. nakatingala sila, iniistima ang tirik ng stairs sa magarbong stage. parang yung makati ave. side ng peninsula. mga ganung level.

"hindi ko kaya!" sabi nung baklang naka-red.

"kaya mo yan," sabi ng kaibigan niya. "sabihin mo lang... Universe!"

at biglang nagtilian ang mga bakla at nagsasayaw.…

chumichika lang

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