labadami

kanina naglalakad ako papuntang MRT nang may sumutsot sa akin.

"pssst! Huy! mama!"

actually okay lang na sunusutsutan ako. i think isa na yata ako sa may pinakamababang self-esteem sa pilipinas kaya kahit tawagin mo ako sa anong paraan o kaya deadmahin mo ako, keri lang. ni hindi nga alam ng ilang mga ka-trabaho ko ang totoo kong pangalan. minsan tinatawag nila akong marlon, mark, o mj. inisip ko nga, ano kaya maglagay na lang ako ng name tag. yung malaki. yung kitang kita. yung kulang na lang bumbilyang umiilaw ilaw. owel, deadma. di ko rin naman alam ang totoong pangalan nila. ang kinaiinisan ko lang sa punyetang aleng sunog na buhok sa kaka-tina ay tinawag akong... mama.

grrr...

pwede bang 'boy' na lang. uminit tuloy ang ulo ko.

mainit na nga ang ulo ko to begin with. kanina bumisita ako sa bangko after two years. two year ineng. grabe. ang sarap ng feeling kahit barya lang ang ide-deposito ko. naka-smile pa ako nang pumasok sa bangko, tuloy tuloy kung saan yung mga deposit slips. okay na sana kaso sa tagal ko palang hindi naka-bisita sa bangko, hindi ko na alam kung pano mag-deposito. so nagtanong ako sa guard at kumuha nang number. so okay na, sa isip isip ko. siempre hindi pa rin dahil sa tagal kong hindi bumisita nakalimutan ko na rin yung bank account number ko. hinalungkat ko na ang buong bag ko para sa mga left over bank reciepts pero wala. wala na akong makita. at eto pa. for added pressure, palapit na ng palapit ang numberong kinuha ko.

45... 46... 47...

eh 53 ako.

bwiset! ano 'to, live episode ng eat bulaga?

kaya ayun. hindi na lang ako nag-deposit. ang ganda di ba?

ewan ko. ka-bwisit ang buong buwan na ito. hindi. ang buong taon. hindi. ang buong walang ka-kwenta-kwentang buhay na ito. hay naku, feeling ko para akong isang damit na paulit ulit na nilalabhan ng isang masokistang labandera. yung may kusot, suntok, at palo palo pa. sabay babad sa maasim-asim na clorox. hmmmm... feeling ko nga, kailangan ko nang plantsahin ang nuo ko kasi nasanay nang parating naka-kunot. wish ko lang talaga, ate vicky, wish ko lang talaga, magka-sense na ang buhay ko.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Naku, di mo nagagalaw account mo for two years? Baka na-dormant na yan, and may charges. Anyway, you can ask for assistance sa New accounts section and tanong mo na lang po account number mo. Be sure to bring ID po ha. Take care, Boy! *wink*
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