you had me at my worst...

One More Chance (tan-tan-tan)

John Lloyd and Bea Alonzo have been lovers for seven years (or is it 10? I kept confusing it with Weng’s relationship). He has a by-the-numbers attitude while she is a freewheeling creative artist (or so Star Cinema would like us to believe). At the beginning of the movie, both characters are tired of the relationship but still pursue it because, well, they are truly in love. Everything comes to a boil when Bea suddenly feels constricted and breaks it off with John Lloyd. John Lloyd, of course, goes berserk but eventually finds another lover. He is cute, after all. Hence the much quoted line: You had me at my best and she had me at my worst but you choose to break my heart. Barf!

One More Chance is just like the John Lloyd character. It has a by-the-numbers feel to it. Shaky relationship + break up + self-realization + reunion = happy ending. Barf! I just thought that for a movie with a lot of pain in it, it severely lacked of curses. I would imagine that if I was the one being dumped I would spew venom and dirt that you would never kiss me in the mouth again. But since this is a family movie I only detected one “Putang Ina Mo.”

One More Chance, however, inspired me to write a story based on another hit song— that of Tom Jones. (One more chance… Tan-tan-tan… One more chance… Tan-tan-tan). The movie wouldn’t star John Lloyd and Bea but Tado and Tuesday Vargas (my dream cast!). It’s basically the same story: Tuesday leaves Tado after 10 years of being together because she feels trapped in the relationship. But every night, Tado would get smashed not on San Mig Light but on shoktong and gin bulag. He would then go to Tuesday’s house and throw rocks on it. “Putanginang mo ka, ang ladi mo mamatay ka na sana puta ka magsama kayo ng kakangerong boypren mo kasing landi ka ng puta mong nanay at pagnakita ko kayo papatayin ko kayo ng balisong ko mga walanghiya kayo,” he would scream. Tuesday’s mother would call the barangay and would tell him: “Hoy Tado, ayus ayusin mo ang buhay mo! Wag kang ganyang lalaseng laseng ka at maggugulo ka dito! Putang-ina mo! Bwisit! Pareho kayo ng tatay mong PG!”

Of course, Tado and Tuesday would end up together and would wed in one of Mayor Lim’s sponsored mass weddings. Then they would live in a shanty in Manila and lead a miserable life under the GMA rule. Star Cinema, you should hire me.

(Note: John Lloyd has man-boobs and needs to trim down but he is so cute and appears to be an excellent kisser. All I can say is: I’ll love you at your worst. I’ll love you at your best but, um, mostly at your best. I’ll write good materials for you. I’ll make you the next Dindo Fernando of Philippine cinema. John Lloyd dearie, choose me. Marry me. Love me. Fuck me…)


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