i want to be on top!


It seems that I'm just a few episodes from ODing from America's Next Top Mowdel. Just give me a few steady beats and a clear walkway and I will sashay down the hall like a geeky reject from Tyra's phenomenal show. I was at the mall today wearing my, ehem, slinky, slim jeans and seriously I felt like I was on a runway. I could hear Tyra and Alexander telling me to keep my shoulders relaxed, mind my booty (which, for some cosmic reason, refuses not to sway like an intoxicated Pussycat Doll), and focus on my walk. At the end of each building, I find myself resisting not to strike a pose. "More energy!" Nigel Barker might say. "Give me some emotion! Smoulder! Smoulder! God you're hot!"

Ok so obviously I'm a narcissistic bitch. I've another reason why we gay men love the show. Aside from the vicarious thrill of watching these seemingly fugly girls transform into supermodels of the world, there is also the bitching, the eyebrow lifting, and the I-am-so-deserving-than-her vibe coming from most of the models (because admit it or not, we love to think that we are the most desirable creature this planet has ever seen). I mean, don't we all think we can be on top?

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