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Showing posts from August, 2007

Nasaan na ang himala?

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Mga dalawa o tatlong beses ko nang napanood ang Himala pero mas lubos ko itong naintindihan nang dumalo ako sa isang writing workshop ni Ricky Lee. Ang baril daw na pumatay kay Elsa, sabi ni Master (bansag sa kanya ng mga dumalo sa workshop), ay ang hindi pagsang-ayon ng mga deboto na wala naman talagang himala. At ang pagpaslang kay Elsa ay ang tanging paraan para maipagpatuloy ang pinaniniwalaang aparisyon.

Katatapos ko lang basahin muli ang script ng pelikula. Payak ang pagkakasulat nito. Simple lang ang estilo. Para ngang kayang gawin ng dalawang araw pero sa aking limitadong experience ganitong tipong materyales ang mas mahirap tapusin. Ayon sa production notes, isinulat ni Lee ang script para kay Mike De Leon pero eventually si Ishmael Bernal ang tumira. Pero gayunpaman, si Nora Aunor lang ang naisip nilang bida.

Complex ang script. Simple man ang takbo ng istorya pero maraming sinasabi ito. Maraming parallelism tulad ng karakter ni Nimia na nagpuputa at ni Elsa na nagbebenta ng…

Don't I look so writerly?

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I write more often when I am depressed. I don't know, there is something about being in the pits that reminds me that I am still alive. And when I can feel every iota of pain that is coming out of my body, every gash, every skin that has been broken, that's when writing becomes extremely fun.

Last year, around August as well, I was again frustrated with my life (a pretty common occurrence as my friends soon found out). I remember going out of the house at midnight with no definite plan or destination. As I sent text messages to my friends, I dropped by an internet cafe in Timog and started blogging. I wrote about how I felt that night. How I looked and felt shitty. Then I went out and got drunk in Malate. I had so much fun that night that the next day I went back to the cafe and wrote about what happened.

I soon realized that it is easier to be a writer when you have something to write about. This, however, doesn't mean that I consider myself as a full-fledged writer. I me…

sabado night

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Kanina sobrang depressed ako. Hindi ko na uulitin yung mga litanya ko sa buhay (nakakarindi na kasi eh) pero hindi makakaila na apektado ako. Mag-isa lang ako sa bahay at naubusan pa ako ng load. Nagte-text si boyfriend pero hindi ako makapag-reply. Akala ko uuwi siya kaagad para i-console ako kahit na tinatarayan ko siya pero hindi pala. Siempre, nakadagdag pa yun sa mga litanya ko.

As I’ve said wala akong load at wala rin kaming internet kaya wala akong connection sa outside world. Ako lang at ang aking mga drama ang magkasama. Pinilit kong matulog pero tuwing pinipikit ko ang aking mata nakikita ko yung mga kinaba-bad trip ko. Binuksan ko yung TV pero habang nanonood ako gumagala ang isipan ko: Saan ako kukuha ng pera? Bakit wala pa si boyfriend? Kelan ba ako mare-resign and all that shit kaya minabuti kong patayin na lang ang telebisyon. After all, sayang rin naman yung kuryente, wala nga akong pambayad ng renta eh.

Incidentally, tuwing depressed ako, tumutugtog sa isipan ko yung …

Why does it always rain on me?

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FRIDAY. I received the text message just when I was having a difficult time with our shoot. We were in Amoranto Stadium and we were supposed to shoot in the oval but apparently the typhoon had just arrived. I was thinking of scenes that we could shoot indoors but the wigs and the rest of the props were still in Broadway. The two hosts were already there and were beginning to get antsy. Suffice to say that I was in a state of great anxiety so when I finally received the message it nearly reduced me to tears.

“Every time he texts me, it always begin with a sorry,” the message read. “I think we should replace him and just give him a tip.”

Just give him a tip. Wow. I was being fired even before my career as a script editor has started. And to think that I was already enjoying writing the monologues and have already read the 200 page script. So there I was being fired for a job that I am beginning to really, really love because my day job, which I am beginning to really, really hate, is ge…

deep pockets

I was recently acquainted with an up and coming filmmaker. he was in the middle of editing his script and he needed a script editor. we had common friends so my number eventually made its way into his cellphone. one afternoon he sent a text message asking me if i was interested in being part of the project. of course, i was.

so one rainy saturday evening, we met at my favorite cafe in timog. after explaining the project, he turned to me and asked: "So you work for mainstream TV, I'm sure you know how it feels like to be abused by those people?"

"nah," I told him much to his surprise. "I've been fortunate. The people I work can be a tad handful but at the end of the day they're nice people."

He was incredulous, of course.

I've already forgotten about that incident until I received my paycheck this afternoon. My salary has been slashed by HALF - yet again. As stated on the pay slip, I've been absent for five days in the last two weeks. …

belyas ng bicol

Makinis ang babae. Di nga lang kagandahan. Mukhang cheap yung red bikini. Parang nabili lang sa Divisoria. Nagsimulang sumayaw ang babae. Pilit kong sinuri ang kanyang mga mata. Kung may kalungkutan man o pagkahiya. Siempre wala. Hindi ito pelikula. Walang Rody Lacap para mag-ilaw nang stage. Walang Titus Aldana para ayusin ang mga props at hindi si Rosanna Roces ang gumigiling. Isang katorse anyos na dalagita, mukhang high school lang. Malas niya. Wala siya sa isang pelikula, nasa totoong buhay siya. Huminto ang tutog. Nagsalang ang DJ ng isang Sinead O Connor na
kanta. Tumingin ako sa mga kasama ako. Si Cameraman, lasing na lasing na. Panay ang ikot sa table. Panay pangungulit. Ayos lang ba daw ako? Kung gusto ko ba daw ng lalaki? Si driver naman, nasa likuran, nagtatago sa kadiliman, kasama ang isang GRO. God knows what they are talking about.

“Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for…
Desiree…”

Lumabas ang isang disisiete anyos na babae, white ang kanyang bikini. Medyo may i…

shoot

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I haven't had an honest to goodness break for several days now. it has not been a nice week for me, hasn't it? I was working from friday up until sunday. when we were finally done with our weekend work, it was already monday morning, just in time to start another stressful day. now it's close to midnight and I am still at the office. I'll probably be done by around noon tomorrow, a few hours before we start shooting for our new segment. with the way things are right now the only thing that I want to shoot is myself. hopefully in the afterlife there will be no fucking deadlines to beat.

caption: nomonomo after the little miss philippines pageant.

crazy crazy planets!!!

crazy week. most of my time is spent writing scripts, editing the vtrs and half -wishing i was at home with the boyfriend. in fact last saturday i was having a centrum moment. it was already 3 in the morning, i still had tons of things to do when suddenly i had this urge to watch all the dvds at home (including the pornos MJ lent me). I stared at the dead tv and said, "Gusto kong mag-sulat. gusto kong manood ng mga pelikula. gusto kong mag-basa ng libro. i want to be... um... complete." I wish I was Angel Locsin who, as reported, earned nearly 60 million in just over two years. I've been working for approximately nine years and boy I would never, ever earn that much, even if i sold my soul to the devil.

rehab

"they try to make me go to rehab i say no! no! no!" - amy whitehouse

I wish I was in rehab right now. No, better yet, I wish I had just scored and the metallic taste has yet to escape my dry, dry, oh so dry lips. Some people think Im on something. I actually wish i was on something, only I'm not. The weight loss is due to strict dieting (i.e. vegetables & exercise). I'm glad I've sworn off alcohol.